#488 You’re not the one running the show

ByLukas

Even if you know where you want to go.

Often, you’ll still have to bend to the world.

You’re not the one running the show.

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    #92 The true purpose of memory

    ByLukas

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

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    #169 The things you never need to be good at

    ByLukas

    There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence when you’re passionate about something.

    But being passionate doesn’t come with an obligation to be – or even try to become – good.

    It’s fine to write for the sake of writing, not to write a bestseller novel.
    Paint for the sake of painting, not to be the next Picasso.
    Run for the sake of running, not to finish a marathon.

    I don’t need to be good at this today.

    And some things I just never need to be good at.

    You always have a choice.

  • #331 Building habits the lazy way

    ByLukas

    Some people think they can’t build habits because they’re lazy.

    Maybe we all are – so we might as well make laziness the key to building habits.

    I write only one short daily post because I know I won’t stick to writing long-form posts – and when I feel like writing long-form, it doesn’t feel like an obligation but a treat. Laziness built the writing habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I write more.

    I do 5-minute daily meditations because I know I won’t stick to 30-minute meditation as a habit – yet when I DO meditate for 30 minutes, it feels like a treat. Laziness built the meditation habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I meditate more.

    If you are so sure you won’t stick to anything overly ambitious, what’s the laziest way you could implement a behavior change? Can you use that as your starting point to build life-changing habits?

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    #187 Causality on its head

    ByLukas

    You don’t have to feel certain to start taking action.

    You take action to start feeling certain.

    You don’t need to be calm to do yoga.

    You do yoga to become calm.

    You don’t need to have a quiet mind to meditate.

    You meditate to cultivate a quiet mind.

    You don’t have to speak Spanish fluently to have a conversation in Spanish.

    You have a conversation in Spanish to learn to speak Spanish fluently.

    You don’t need to know how to love to start loving someone.

    You start loving someone to learn how to love.

    And while this chain of causality sounds logical, sometimes the logical things are the hardest to remember.

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    #21 Action Defies Excuses (day 20 update)

    ByLukas

    Day 20 of my daily publishing experiment. What I’ve learned (or remembered) so far:

    • Self-trust is built by taking action. On some days I woke up stressed out, thinking “I have no clue what I’ll post about today”. But then I start writing, and the post reveals itself on the page every single time. After experiencing that several times, the fear of posting (or not being able to write anything) is fading away. In other words: action defies excuses.
    • Starting to journal (Morning Pages) over 600 days ago led to an explosion in creativity. Starting to publish a daily insight is giving me a similar boost.
    • In the past, I leaned towards bigger, longer writing projects that required a lot of energy and thinking before I produced something “valuable”. I now see there’s power in consistently writing short posts about ideas and insights, no matter how insignificant and no matter how imperfect the writing. Because through the writing, I understand them better. I remember them better. And I’m confident that over time, from all these small insights, bigger ideas will emerge.

    In short, a pattern I’ve observed many time in the past years is playing out again:

    When I start defying my own excuses by taking action, no matter how small, my self-trust grows, my self-image shifts, and I become more of the person I want to be.

    Which begs the question:

    Where else am I frustrated, holding on to a static identity of the past that I could prove wrong by taking action?

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