#212 Your beacon of trust

ByLukas

835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

Similar Posts

  • |

    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    ByLukas

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
  • |

    #226 Making all the selves get along

    ByLukas

    “Is this really important right now?” I ask myself, as another distraction passes through my head.

    I imagine an old wise man, disturbed from his task at hand, looking up.

    “No? Can you come back later then, at a more appropriate time? Thank you very much.”

    Back to work he goes.

    “Is this really a life-threatening event?” I ask myself, as another anxiety-inducing thought intrudes my mind.

    I imagine the same old wise man, fending off a harassing distraction.

    “No? Can you come back with a message more appropriate to the severity of the event? Thank you very much.”

    On with life he goes.

    If only it were that easy, my friend.

    The distracted, anxious, worried mind tends to fight back. I’m taking the liberty to assume you’ve also noticed that at some point in your life.

    Nevertheless, I believe we can, nay, we must fight back.

    Not that I’m advocating suppression.

    Excited, worried, sanguine, anxious, passionate, defeated: let them have their moment of attention – at the appropriate time.

    Maybe it’s all about the art of making all the selves get along?

    I imagine the old wise man, who has mastered that art.

    I know I’m not that old wise man yet.

    But I could be, if I make it a point to practice every day.

    And so could you, if you make it a point to practice every day.

    If that’s something that’s important to you, of course. That’s for you to decide, in your personal situation and in your personal life.

  • |

    #248 Finding Growth in Frowns

    ByLukas

    Frowns carry questions. Puzzles. Uncertainty on the edge of understanding.

    “I don’t understand – yet.”

    Sometimes they also carry dismissal.

    “I don’t agree – why?”

    Most of all, frowns symbolize a struggle, a moment of dissonance between what we know and what we encounter.

    Balancing on the edge of comprehension or dismissively pushing away the unfamiliar…

    This is where insights are born.

  • #348 5 dead-simple steps to start writing

    ByLukas

    5 dead-simple steps to start writing – even if you’ve tried everything:

    1. Set aside dedicated time tomorrow morning. From now on, this is your dedicated time every day.
    2. Start with a Tiny Trust Builder; something that makes it easy for you to show up consistently. Write for one minute. Write one sentence. Write one word. If it feels hard to do every day, think smaller.
    3. First build the habit, then build skill. Right now, you’re building a daily writing habit, not a “daily masterpiece” habit. That comes later.
    4. If step 3 feels hard: write something bad on purpose.
    5. If step 4 feels hard and you don’t feel motivated to write: write anyway. You don’t need motivation to write. You’re a writer. So you write.

    Good luck!

  • | |

    #66 Scarcity is like pollution

    ByLukas

    Some days I have ten ideas to write about. Some days, zero.

    But when I lack ideas to write about, the ideas aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from accessing the insights.

    When I feel lonely, friends and family I can connect with aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from connecting with them.

    Scarcity is like pollution.

    When noise pollution of cars, planes and construction machines drown out the singing of the birds, the birds aren’t really gone. I just can’t hear them.

    When light pollution drowns out the stars, they’re not really gone. I just can’t see them.

    So how do I get out of scarcity? How do I reduce pollution?

    Here’s what works for me:

    Notice I’m in scarcity mode. Then move. Meditate. Do stream-of-consciousness journaling.

    Then find a place where I hear the birds.
    Find a place where I can see the stars.
    Write anyway.
    And connect with friends and family anyway.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *