Writing every day won’t always help you achieve your greatest desires.
But it might help you lose them — when you realize that what you really wanted was not the outcome, but the feeling of consciously choosing who you want to be, and consciously acting in alignment with that choice.
Once the desires have fallen away, all that remains is the fulfillment every day.
You can relax now.
Most people don’t really want the freedom to do anything they want, in other words, a life without constraints.
They want the freedom to set their own constraints.
To decide, “I want to spend my time writing,” instead of saying, “I am supposed to become a lawyer because that’s what we do in this family.”
To decide, “I don’t drink alcohol,” instead of saying, “My social circle forces me to have a glass when I’m out.”
To decide, “I want to live in that house, drive that car, and go on that exotic holiday, and I’m going to make it happen,” instead of saying, “I’m constrained by my talent, potential, current job, or where I grew up.”
To decide, “I have time to learn a new language because it’s important to me,” instead of saying, “I’m too busy, I can’t (or don’t deserve to) do anything nice for myself.”
Good or bad, beneficial or misguided, constraints are always there.
Because life constantly forces you to make decisions, and every decision leads to a new constraint.
Since it’s challenging to be aware of your decisions and their long-term constraining effects, which constraints do you consider important enough to set consciously (and spend considerable time and effort doing so)?
Where do you allow others to dictate the constraints you live within?
Who do you allow to dictate the constraints you live within?
Pick your freedom battles.
Go slow.
Go steady.
Do whatever it takes.
But don’t wait to go until you feel ready.
For all your striving
All your failures and achievements
Have you still not learned
That no matter what you gain or lose
Some desires are there to stay
Because we’re wired to live in pursuit of our dreams
And resisting that journey is not the way?
Trying to become good fast makes you impatient. And impatience may well stop you from ever becoming good in the first place.
Because the only way to become good is by understanding that in today’s practice session, you likely won’t be perfect anyway.
That you likely won’t write your most insightful words.
That you likely won’t run an all-time best.
That you’ll likely spend a large part of your yoga session stumbling and losing balance.
When you go into your practice session with that mindset…
Suddenly it makes sense to focus hard on getting that one sentence right.
Now it makes sense to focus on rhythmic breathing while running instead of pushing for a better time.
Now it makes sense to focus on a tiny part of your body during an entire yoga session to train your awareness instead of trying to chase poses because “they look professional.”
Even if there is not much time to “become good,” it still makes sense to assume there is time.
Because that gives you the freedom to focus on the small adjustments that prepare you for when the time comes, and you truly need to perform.
Since I’m always practicing anyway, I don’t have to be good at this today.
Sometimes it takes a reminder of what you’ve already been through
To realize that wherever you’re headed next
You’re ready to go.
It only takes one new habit to restore faith in the malleable mind.
“I’ve never been good at languages. Until I learned my first foreign language. If I can do that… what else is possible?”
“I’ve never been good at public speaking. Until I gave my first speech, and then my second, and then my twentieth. If I can do that… What else is possible?”
“I always give up on projects before I bring them to completion. Until I completed one project. Then another. Then another. If I can do that… What else is possible?“
If something I thought I could never do becomes possible, cracks start to appear in my limiting beliefs.
It’s not just about the habits. It’s about the belief that you can change your habits, trust in your ability to complete projects and stick to your routine.
And the only way to build that is through taking small daily actions that are votes for who you want to be (and what you want to achieve).
Again: it only takes one new daily action to start restoring your belief in the malleable mind.
Start with one. Then discover what else is possible.
