To become you want to be (but aren’t yet) you have to start doing what you want to do (but aren’t doing yet).
Who do you want to be?
Which actions would that person take?
The questions are simple. But the path is erratic.
And that’s okay.
As long as you ask them once in a while, you’re well on your way.
Don’t wait for the storm to pass.
Write in the rain.
With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇
1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.
Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.
Why is this important to you?
What do you stand to gain?
Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?
(❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)
2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.
In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:
Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?
Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?
Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).
This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.
But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.
3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.
Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:
👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…
Bottom line:
Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.
It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.
You build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.
I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.
I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.
But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.
I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.
I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.
There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:
When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.
Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.
Acting on the first hunch is a powerful move.
After all, hunches have their basis in our subconscious insights and intuitive understanding.
While they may not always lead us to the expected outcome, they invariably lead us to swift action and learning.
Either you’re right and you saved time.
Or you’re wrong so you can course correct, still saving you time.
So drink on the first sign of thirst.
Write on the first sign of an insight.
Make your choice on the first sign of a preference.
If it turns out bad, learn and change.
That’s how you train your intuition – not by distrusting it, but by using and honing it.
You already know how to do this.
If you truly want to build a habit, you shouldn’t be able to hide behind excuses or vague commitments.
Which means the habit needs to be transparent.
Did you write one sentence today?
Did you learn one word in your target language today?
Did you run one mile today?
Some find transparency empowering.
Some think it’s scary.
But everyone who has built a habit knows this is the way.
You’ve spent your lifetime bumping into the limits of what you deem possible.
And you’ve also spent your lifetime overcoming the seemingly impossible.
Sit. Crawl. Walk. Speak. Read. Find love. Get over loss and heartbreak. Travel. Invent. Create. Learn. Write.
Overcoming the seemingly impossible is what makes you you.
Once you accept that, the question shifts from, “What’s possible for me?” to, “What are you overcoming next?”
