#495 You just are…
You are not the naysayer.
You are not the euphoric idealist.
You are not your thoughts.
You just are.
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#515 No more, you said, no more of this
ByLukas“No more,” you said.
“No more of this.”
And that’s when that what you really wanted finally became possible.
#168 Purposeful pursuits
ByLukasI made an account on Instagram to stay in touch with friends abroad. Now I habitually spend hours a day scrolling through Instagram feeds. Is this a purposeful pursuit?
I started journaling to clear my head. Now I habitually write and publish insights every day. Is this a purposeful pursuit?
Good intentions and purposeful actions inevitably turn into a habit, and that can be a good or a bad thing.
Constantly questioning our actions leads to paralysis.
But once in a while, gaining presence and reaffirming your intentions can be enough to put you back on track.
#267 Why intensity fades and consistency leads to change
ByLukasWhen you write 50 pages a day, only to be forced to recover for a month.
When you start running 5 miles a day without any preparation, only to end up injured.
When you start studying a language for 5 hours a day, only to give up after a week.
When you fly so close to the sun, your wings melt.
When intensity and excitement radiate too brightly, and the reality of life suddenly slaps you in the face.
That’s when you start appreciating the slow, steady flame of consistency that burns long and becomes brighter over time.
And that’s when you’ll see lasting change.
#376 The decision has already been made
ByLukasIf you made a plan to write every day, write today.
Don’t think. Write.
Because the decision has already been made.
And now is not the time to negotiate.
#22 Actions Overrule Thoughts
ByLukasOne of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonanceWhat’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:
If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.
In other words: actions overrule thoughts.
- If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
- If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
- If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
- If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.
We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.
Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.
The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.
Which begs the question:
- How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
- How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?
Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.
#175 Perpetuating painful comfort
ByLukasWe naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.
If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.
If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.
If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.
If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.
If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.
Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.
Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.
Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?