#178 You don’t have to master this today

ByLukas
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Performance gap: the frustrating gap between the way you know something should be done in an ideal world and the way you currently do it.

I know I should write daily blog posts in advance so I have a buffer in case something comes up and I don’t get to write. Yet here I am, writing this daily insight hours before the publication date.

I know what the perfect downward-facing dog pose in yoga looks like. Yet when I perform it myself, I am far off from that ideal pose.

I know all the ingredients that make up a solid, convincing speech. Yet when I write one myself, I am only able to incorporate a few of those ingredients.

Learning, then, is closing the gap between your intellectual understanding of an ideal product, action, or skill, and your current rendition of it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself for your current performance.

You can’t expect to turn intellectual understanding into mastery and internalized knowledge right away.

You don’t have to master this today.

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    #292 The obstacle course hidden beneath your goals

    ByLukas

    If you think you know how to write a story but never do it, do you really know how to write a story?

    If you think you know how to do a yoga pose but never do it, do you really know how to do that yoga pose?

    If you think you know how to apologize for a mistake but never do it, do you really know how to apologize?

    If you know what you want to do but aren’t doing it, do you really know what you want?

    Because hidden beneath your goals and technical step-by-step instructions to accomplish them, there’s an obstacle course of personal context, personal beliefs, past experiences, and emotions.

    And these, you won’t discover in books or videos.

    These, you’ll encounter by doing.

    And these, you’ll conquer by doing.

  • #209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap

    ByLukas

    Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

    But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

    Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

    When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

    And so the pressure mounts.

    Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

    Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

    Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

    —

    To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

    Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

    Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

    Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

    —

    Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

    Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

    Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

    Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

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    #72 Contrast

    ByLukas

    Without sadness, how do I know I’m happy?

    Without happiness, how do I know I’m sad?

    Without anger, how do I know I’m grateful?

    Without gratitude, how do I know I’m angry?

    Without pain, how do I know what pleasure feels like?

    Without pleasure, how do I know I’m in pain?

    Without bad moments, how can I appreciate the good ones?

    Without good moments, what gets me through the bad ones?

    Contrast.

  • |

    #97 Not loneliness. Solitude.

    ByLukas

    All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone

    Blaise Pascal, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/19682-all-of-humanity-s-problems-stem-from-man-s-inability-to-sit

    We often equate sitting quietly in a room alone with loneliness: a word with a negative emotional charge.

    But sitting quietly in a room can also bring solitude: the simple state of being by yourself, without any negative connotation.

    Solitude can give relief of the pressure to be constantly “socializing” (through social media apps or in real life).

    Relief of the pressure to socialize can make space.

    Space you can use to hear the thoughts in your head and the feelings in your body.

    Thoughts and feelings that can tell you what’s truly important to you.

    And then you realize that what’s truly important to you is nothing new.

    It’s something you already knew, before you learned not to listen.

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