#315 You don’t have a shot at getting results yet

ByLukas

Most habits are hard to stick to because they promise not only a positive lifestyle change but also instant results.

But worrying about building a habit and getting results at the same time leads to frustration and, ultimately, failure – after all, when building a habit, showing up every day is already hard enough.

First, you must learn to trust that you can show up every day, even if you don’t see improvement right away.

Only then do you get a shot at getting results.

The key is in the power of tiny actions, consistently taken.

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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    ByLukas

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #137 Until here and no further

    ByLukas

    I’ll never believe I can write until I allow myself to write.

    I’ll never believe I can grow my body stronger until I allow myself to do do something consistently to grow my body stronger.

    I’ll never believe I can mend a mistreated mind until I allow my mind to be mended.

    I’ll never believe I can heal a broken heart until I allow myself to start loving again.

    You don’t start doing something because you believe you can do it.

    You do it because you find leverage to allow yourself to do it, even if it feels outside your comfort zone.

    Until here, and no further.

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    #73 Why am I rushing?

    ByLukas

    Journaling question of the day: Why am I rushing?

    Out of habit and automaticity – mindlessness caused by endless repetition?

    Out of discomfort – I want to get out of this situation as soon as possible?

    Out of impatience – I expect whatever comes next to be more interesting or riveting?

    What would happen if I don’t rush this?

    By interrupting the automaticity and slowing down, will I reopen my senses and discover new nuances?

    By not rushing away from discomfort, will I discover everything is not as bad as I feared it would be?

    By resisting impatience, can I become fascinated with whatever is happening right here, right now?

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    #119 Make anything a fulfilling skill

    ByLukas

    Learning a skill isn’t so much about getting better – that’s just a side effect.

    It’s about discovering new ways of doing the same thing – just because you can, and just because you’re curious.

    Doing the same thing, this time precisely – then doing it again, not precisely at all.

    Doing the same thing, this time deliberately, carefully thinking about every step – then doing it again, not thinking about any steps at all.

    When you stay curious, you learn to discover nuances you couldn’t perceive before.

    When you stay curious, you learn to be deliberate until you can be intuitive.

    When you stay curious, you learn to become less blind to what’s already here.

    And when you stay curious, you realize there’s not much more to a fulfilling life than sculpting away, day by day – and anything can be a fulfilling skill.

  • #9 Striking gold

    ByLukas

    I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

    And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

    Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

    And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
    I write, re-write
    and never am I satisfied.

    I get closer, or so I think
    And then the next day, I jump back in
    and instantly sink.

    I need answers…
    Even though deep down I know,
    the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

    Yet, I have to try.

    Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

    Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

    In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

    How? I don’t know.

    When? I don’t know.

    Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

    Anyway.

    Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
    I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
    and write in peace.

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