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    #115 The path to higher self-esteem

    Whenever someone commits to doing something and doesn’t follow through, I start distrusting them.

    Whenever I commit to doing something and don’t follow through, I start distrusting myself.

    The person who most often lets you down might well be you.

    If you don’t accept this behavior from others, why would you accept it from yourself?

    The path to higher self-esteem is paved with kept promises to yourself.

  • #9 Striking gold

    I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

    And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

    Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

    And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
    I write, re-write
    and never am I satisfied.

    I get closer, or so I think
    And then the next day, I jump back in
    and instantly sink.

    I need answers…
    Even though deep down I know,
    the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

    Yet, I have to try.

    Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

    Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

    In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

    How? I don’t know.

    When? I don’t know.

    Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

    Anyway.

    Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
    I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
    and write in peace.

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    #220 A reminder to decide

    I could decide that writing less than 1000 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.

    I could decide that writing more than 50 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.

    I could decide that not writing today would be failure – and I would be correct.

    After all, for many things in life, you get to decide yourself what’s failure and what’s success.

    In fact, my friend, just like me you may have already decided for yourself what’s failure and what’s success.

    And just like me, you may need a reminder of that decision once in a while, so you can verify if it still serves you.

    This is that reminder.

    Which serves me well, because my decision was that writing you this short daily letter is exactly right.

    See you tomorrow.

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