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    #175 Perpetuating painful comfort

    We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.

    If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.

    If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.

    If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.

    If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.

    If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.

    Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.

    Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.

    Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?

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    #210 How do you know you’re reaching your goal?

    I could consider myself a writer if I write 20,000 words a day – and I would be right.

    Or I could consider myself a writer if I write one sentence a day – and I would be right.

    I could consider myself a writer if I’ve written a book – and I would be right.

    Or I could consider myself a writer the moment I’ve decided I’m going to be a writer – and I would be right.

    I could consider myself a writer if I’ve built up enough self-trust and taken enough daily actions that prove that I genuinely care about being a writer – and I would be right.


    Whether you’re aware of them or not, you’re using subjective measuring sticks for everything, usually determined by upbringing, culture, and societal pressure.

    But nothing stops you from consciously choosing your measuring sticks (depending on your goals, you could make them easier or more challenging) and setting yourself up for more fulfillment and success.

    Here are some questions that can help:

    When you say you want to be {successful, happy, fulfilled, fit, wealthy}…

    How do you know you’re reaching your goal?

    Is it an achievement?

    A material possession?

    A feeling?

    An action you take?

    A decision you make?

    Choose wisely.

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    #75 2 Questions to Ask Before Starting a Project

    Habits are hard to build. But there’s one that’s easy to get used to: starting a new project, then giving up.

    Sometimes it’s better not to start at all, so you avoid reinforcing a quitter’s identity: I’ve given up so many times in the past, I’ll probaby give up again.

    So how do you know which projects are worth starting?

    Ask yourself the following questions:

    1. Is this something I really want? Something that’s good for me AND feasible in the short/medium/long term? (Trust of Intention)
    2. Am I prepared to go through a phase where the sole purpose is building a habit without caring about improving or marking much progress? (Trust of Completion)

    If the answer to both questions is yes, you’re onto something.

    If not, you’re setting yourself up for frustration.

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