This book put into words something I didn’t even know I had forgotten: that we’re all animal, but our minds deny it, so we have to learn to become animal again.
With the memory of what being animal is like
back on my mind
the earth is my home again.
After writing over 300 daily blog posts (and journaling for 926 days), here’s my main takeaway:
Once you decide you’re responsible for writing that daily sentence, learning that language, doing that workout…
Once you decide you’re responsible for making it happen, no matter the circumstances or external events (travel, sickness, emergencies,…)
That’s when you’ll notice that there are very few excuses that truly stop you from making it happen.
And that’s when you have the opportunity to become who you’ve always wanted to be.
Better enjoy today’s show.
After all, who knows where life will go?
Starting a new habit seems to come with three universal “self-trust issues”:
Trust in my Intentions. “Do I even have the time for this? Does making time for this make me selfish… Is it even good for me to spend time on this, out of all the priorities in life? Will this do me in any good in the long term?”
Trust in my Ability to follow through. “I’ll probably give up at the first opportunity, and then beat myself up again for not following through.”
Trust in my Skills. “Am I even good enough? I don’t notice any improvement, I don’t think this is working for me. I don’t think I can do this.”
(Source: Eben Pagan)
And even though I’ve slowly been gaining trust across all three dimensions in the past two years…
Whenever I start something new – like publishing a daily insight – the same trust issues resurface.
“Trust in my ability to follow through” is a particularly tough cookie. Not a day goes by without a self-defeating and endlessly annoying voice whispering in my ear: “Go ahead, try me. See how long you last before you return with another habit you gave up on…”
Which leads me to the Completion Paradox:
Trust in my ability to complete things is not a prerequisite to get started. It’s earned through getting started in the first place and then, slowly, but surely, day by day, following through. Completing something every single day. Proving to myself that I can, in fact, trust myself to follow through. Building up that self-trust every day through tiny trust builders.
So… the questions I keep in mind today:
Taking it one step further:
And with those questions in mind, I realize a simple thought can put my mind at ease…
“It’s all fine… I’ve been through this before.”
Because when my dreams start drowning in doubts
And desire turns into despair
When I suddenly see what I always had in me
Who I could be
Yet my thoughts already declare defeat
I step back
Look back
Feel back
And when at last I notice
That day by day,
I’m finally unleashing the calling I’ve always ignored
I remind myself
It’s all fine. I’ve been through this before.
No one really knows what they’re doing, no matter how loud they shout.
So don’t have to know what you’re doing yet before you start out.
Isn’t that a reassuring thought?
Cut yourself some slack on a hard day.
Relax, take a break.
Because come what may,
In the long run, you’re strong enough to keep going anyway.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here today.
Many of the articles on this website touch on the concept of productivity. And yet, I have very mixed feelings about the word. There’s something aspirational about it, and at the same time… it feels dirty.
Whenever a word triggers me like that, I like to do do an exercise to figure out what’s causing it. First, I write down all my instant associations with the word, without thinking too much. (For example “productivity is…” or “productivity means…”. No thinking allowed, just instant writing.)
Then I look for patterns or insights in what I wrote.
(This is a fascinating exercise. I suggest you try it with “rich people are…” and see which instant associations bubble up. It might not be pretty.)
As always, the instant association exercise did its job. In this post, you’ll read what it brought to light, how I managed to reframe productivity as traction, and how that reframe might help you live a more creative and more fulfilled life, too.
The instant association exercise revealed that my biggest problem with productivity is that I (and many others) often mix it up with “economic productivity.” In other words: maximizing economic output every day. Or less euphemistic: working 10-12 hours a day.
What about “producing a lot in as little time as possible?” At first sight, that looks like a good thing, right?
But here, too, there’s a lot of pressure to maximize output without regard for rest and recovery.
For example, let’s say you’re a master of deep work, and you finish a job that is supposed to take 8 hours in 4 hours.
For many people, that means “Great, now I have 4 more hours left to do something productive“. And they end up working 8 hours anyway. Or 10 (better do something “productive” at night than watching TV for 2 hours!)
This is a typical productivity trap. It’s a monster that’s never satisfied, creates a lot of pressure and leads to burnout.
Luckily, there are other and healthier ways to be focused and achieve a lot. I like how Nir Eyal frames it in his excellent book “Indistractable“:
On any given day, your mission is to do the things you set out to do.
Sounds simple, but it’s a massive mindset shift.
To understand why, we need to take a look at the concepts of traction and distraction.
At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, no matter if it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re moving towards the goal you set.
If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re moving away from the goal you set.
Simple, right?
The only prerequisite is that you choose what you want to gain traction towards. You have to deliberately decide what you’re going to do, create, work on, or play with.
The nicest part about this approach to “productivity” is that it allows, includes, and even encourages what many people classify as as “non-productive downtime.”
For example, you can consciously decide to write two hours a day. Then, if you end up actually writing during those two hours, you’re gaining traction towards that goal.
But you can also consciously decide, in advance, to watch a 1-hour series afterward as a reward for your hard labor.
And if during that time you set out to watch that series, you actually watch the series, guess what: you’re gaining traction towards that goal too!
If you set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night… and you follow through… yep, now you’re gaining traction in that domain too.
The same goes for spending time with your kids, and anything else you consciously decide to do in any given day.
If you adopt this new traction mindset, everything I described has now become “productivity”.
Now, why is this important?
Simple. if you consciously choose what you’re going to do, no matter if it’s work, play, relaxing,… and you then follow through…
That shows integrity.
You show yourself you can do what you set out to do. You keep your promises to yourself.
And that increases your self-trust and self-esteem.
That’s right: saying you’re going to watch an episode of your favorite series and then doing that (without feeling guilty) can increase your self-trust as much as saying you’re writing a blog post and following through!
That might sound weird, but that’s how it works. It’s just a healthier way to look at your daily activities.
Added benefit: the more self-trust and self-esteem, the less inner resistance you’ll feel to living the life you want to life. Read more about that here.
Here’s what’s important to start taking advantage of the power of traction:
With practice, you’ll get better at estimating the time needed to complete a project you can create a realistic calendar.
But sometimes, it’s hard to predict how long a project will take.
If that’s the case, I recommend “time boxing”: adding a set block of time to your calendar to work on a project.
Once the time is up, you stop working on that project.
It doesn’t matter how much you achieved. As long as you worked on the project during that time block, you’ve gained traction. (If you ended up doing something else or you got distracted halfway through, that’s a different story.)
In the end, it’s all about being honest with yourself and finding uninterrupted blocks of time to work.
Here’s how I recommend you get started with traction, without overdoing it (remember, keeping your promises to yourself and your integrity is vital):
Practicing traction this way will help your self-esteem, integrity, your trust in yourself. You’ll also get more done in less time. Because this is a plan that works long-term. It builds discipline. It helps you create a life you like and feel good about in the long term.
Whenever a word becomes cluttered with negative connotations, I give myself two choices.
Either I train myself to redefine the meaning of the word and replace the negative connotation with something more positive. That’s the hard way.
Here’s the easy way: I replace the word itself with a brand-new concept with no negative associations.
Productivity becomes traction.
Controlling becomes channeling. (Blog post coming soon).
Failure becomes lesson.
You get the idea.
I suggest you take the easy way and replace your goal of productivity with traction.
It’ll save you a lot of time and frustration.
