#423 Win or lose, you get to choose
How will you interpret what happens today?
Win? Lose?
You get to choose.
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#15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself
ByLukasWhat you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.
To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.
The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).
How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:
- Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
- Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
- Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
- Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
- Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
#252 The Identity is the Outcome
ByLukasThe outcome is not the book.
The outcome is not the marathon.
The outcome is not the successful business.The outcome is not even the daily habit you form, even though they’re the stepping stones you need.
The outcome is the embodiment of the changes we’ve internalized, the growth we’ve experienced, and the evolution we’ve undergone, allowing us to say, “This is what I now stand for. This is what I believe is possible.”
The outcome is the identity.
Maybe it’s less about “What do I want to achieve?” and more about “What do I want to believe?”
#303 Why you do what you do
ByLukasI don’t know yet what I want to say today, and I write anyway.
I write anyway because it’s the only way to figure out what I want to say.
I do yoga because it’s the only way to understand why yoga is important.
I run because it’s the only way to figure out why running is worth it.
I spend time with family because it’s the only way to understand why love is important.
There’s no need to wait for reasons of motivation.
You do what you do to figure out why you’re doing it.
#328 Why do you love it so much?
ByLukasWhy do you love writing, despite the fact that the act of writing is often a drag?
Why do you love running, despite the fact that the act of going for a run is often a chore?
Why do you love learning languages, despite the fact that the act of practicing is often riddled with frustration?
Why do you love it so much?
And wouldn’t it feel good to remind yourself of that love every day… so you make sure the love is there to stay?
#452 There’s always a sacrifice to make
ByLukasWhen chasing fame leads to your own kids not remembering your name.
When chasing love leads to fear of being alone.
When chasing success leads to loneliness.
It may be necessary.
It may be good.
It may be worth it.
As long as you’re aware there’s always a sacrifice to make.
#441 Changing path is not a spur-of-the-moment thing
ByLukasYou may decide to change path in the spur of a moment.
But to keep moving in that new direction, you’ll have to reaffirm your decision many times.
Day by day, taking actions that pave the new path.
Day by day, making decisions that keep you on the new path.
Day by day.
Step by step.
Until the new path isn’t the new path anymore, but just the path.