#324 Will you ever write that book?
Will you ever write that book?
Who knows. We’ll see.
So for now, just focus on who you want to be.
Do that every day, and wherever you end up, is where you’re supposed to be.
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#175 Perpetuating painful comfort
ByLukasWe naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.
If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.
If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.
If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.
If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.
If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.
Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.
Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.
Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?
#502 Let me do this my way
ByLukasWhen you realize nobody truly knows what they’re doing
Doesn’t that give you the freedom to say
Let me do this my way?
#60 Memory is context
ByLukasMemory is context – in language and in general.
Context of words surrounded by other words and sounds within a sentence.
- apple orchard
Context of words surrounded by actions – actor, action, object affected (in whatever way or order your mother tongue expresses it).
- I pick an apple from the tree.
Context of words and the images they spur.
- An apple falls on Newton’ head.
- An apple falls off a tree in my grandparents’ garden.
- I bite into a green apple – a bit sour. I don’t like it.
- The first time I combine an apple part with peanut butter. Delicious.
Context of words and the feelings they evoke.
- I’m thirsty and hungry after a volleyball game. The first bite of an apple – what a relief.
- My grandpa cuts an apple and gives me a part. Safety. Home.
- I eat 2 apples and my mouth starts itching. Allergy? Fear.
When learning another language, you can link words to the context of your mother tongue.
But to truly understand them, you’ll have to create a new context too.
For example, an apple in Spanish: una manzana.
Seemingly the same object, now perceived through new sounds.
- huerto de manzanas (apple orchard)
New actions.
- Yo limpio una manzana. (I wash/clean an apple.)
New images.
- I see una manzana in a Mexican supermarket. Someone is polishing it with wax to make it extra shiny. The first time I saw was in Mexico. So I didn’t see the guy polishing an apple. Vi a un hombre encerando una manzana. (I saw a guy putting wax on an apple.)
New feelings.
- Compré una manzana (I bought an apple) and ate it without washing it well. My stomach wasn’t happy with my actions.
Keeping all that in mind, are we really still talking about the same object? Is the Spanish manzana encerada that made me sick in Spanish the same as the apple my grandpa helped me pick? If it is, do I now have a richer perception of that object that once up on a time, I could only interact with through the limits of one language?
Learning vocabulary lists with isolated words will never get you fluent in a foreign language.
If you don’t build a new context of sounds, actions, images, feelings, you’ll always keep imposing your mother tongue on the foreign language.
That’s why you can’t just learn a foreign language. You have to live it.
#22 Actions Overrule Thoughts
ByLukasOne of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonanceWhat’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:
If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.
In other words: actions overrule thoughts.
- If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
- If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
- If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
- If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.
We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.
Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.
The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.
Which begs the question:
- How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
- How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?
Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.
#45 The tragedy of the spoken word
ByLukasLanguage helps us describe the world we perceive. Yet in doing so, it closes our eyes, our ears, our touch, and our heart to the parts of the world we don’t have words for.
Every language is a lens on a felt reality within and around us – both clarifying and categorizing the world, and limiting it by the words it has available.
Learning more languages gives you new lenses – and a richer sense of reality.
But just like the structure of our ears limit the sounds we can hear, and the structure of our eyes limit colors we can see, the structure of any language somehow limits our felt experience of the world.
How do we re-access memories, emotions, hidden away in a long-forgotten language?
How do we re-learn to listen to the voices of the wordless world speaking to our animal self… the voices that once upon a time, before verbal language emerged, were all we had?
there’s an eternal song
drowned out by the confines of my mother tongue
a wordless melody that once made sense
until our brain started blurring it with a lens
narrowing it down
neglecting its nuances through verbs and nounswith all its might language wants us to abide
Lukas Van Vyve
but the wordless world it tries to hide
will forever be inside#142 Overcalibration
ByLukasGiving up on your intentions once doesn’t mean you’ll always give up.
Quitting a workout routine or diet once doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever.
Giving one clumsy speech doesn’t mean you’re a bad public speaker forever.
Learning from the past is good. But predicting the future based on a small set of isolated past experiences is overcalibration.