Habit-building isn’t about striving for “the perfect day.”
It’s about making sure that even on the imperfect day when nothing goes your way, you still do enough things that fulfill you.
It’s about making the hard things easier.
And it’s about stacking the deck in your favor and making it inevitable to do things that align with who you want to be.
When I write, I write.
When I practice yoga, I practice yoga.
When I talk with friends, I talk with friends.
Or at least, I wish it were like that.
Because you and I both know how distracted the mind can be, my friend.
You don’t even need to meditate to figure that out.
So the mind needs a reminder once in a while.
“What’s truly important right now?”
I’ll be practicing every day.
I write about the same topics over and over again, with slightly different words.
I listen to people explaining the same topics over and over again, with a slightly different interpretation.
I practice the same breathing exercises every day, becoming aware of changes so subtle it’s hard to believe they make any difference.
While all that energy spent on what seems like “repeating” and “reviewing” might seem like a waste of time, the constant revisiting of things we already know is how I grow.
Because with every repetition I’m discovering a new part of the same insight.
A new nuance that in itself might seem insignificant, but added to my personal experience, insights, understanding, might make all the difference.
And with every new insight, I become a little less blind to what’s already here.
In the process, I have to accept that the perfect words might never come.
The perfect explanation might never come.
The perfect execution of a skill might never happen.
But if I stay the course, my understanding of what matters to me in life will always keep growing.
At some point, through all the practicing, learning, reading, writing, I might stumble upon a groundbreaking insight.
Or maybe it never happens.
It doesn’t matter. I feel fulfilled regardless… As long as I keep sculpting away, day by day.
So you say you want to be a writer?
Show me one daily action that proves that’s true.So you say you value connection with family and friends?
Show me one daily action that demonstrates you do.So you say you want to learn a foreign language?
Show me one daily action. Show me you’ll follow through.Show me one daily action. Not for me. But for you.
For you to start believing you care.
That your dreams and desires aren’t just castles in the air.
That you dare to build an identity that supports your values and aspirations.
Because actions overrule thoughts.
Actions form (or break) beliefs.
Actions aligned with your values build trust in your good intentions, and change your identity.
One action a day. That’s all it takes.
Lukas Van Vyve
If you want to be a writer, write wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a writer and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.
If you want to be a runner, run wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a runner and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.
If you want to be there for your family, start being there for them wholeheartedly and consistently until you start believing you’re a family guy and you trust you’ll always be – then relax.
Getting worked up about traffic jams is not pleasant, but it’s predictable. And addictive.
So is giving up on writing a book, quitting a workout regime, and re-living any conflict or failure.
Not pleasant. But predictable.
This is how you’ve always felt. And this is how you’ll always feel – unless you become aware of the unpleasant, predictable, addictive patterns and decide to act differently.
Not only once, not twice, but every time you become aware of the pattern until you’ve built enough self-trust that you know the unpleasant predictable events aren’t inevitable.
There’s nothing wrong with chasing quick wins, as long as you define them well.
Because the first quick wins are usually internal and invisible.
Only when you’ve won some battles against the inner critic who wants you to give up do the external quick wins kick in.
And that’s how it’s supposed to be.
