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    #226 Making all the selves get along

    “Is this really important right now?” I ask myself, as another distraction passes through my head.

    I imagine an old wise man, disturbed from his task at hand, looking up.

    “No? Can you come back later then, at a more appropriate time? Thank you very much.”

    Back to work he goes.


    “Is this really a life-threatening event?” I ask myself, as another anxiety-inducing thought intrudes my mind.

    I imagine the same old wise man, fending off a harassing distraction.

    “No? Can you come back with a message more appropriate to the severity of the event? Thank you very much.”

    On with life he goes.


    If only it were that easy, my friend.

    The distracted, anxious, worried mind tends to fight back. I’m taking the liberty to assume you’ve also noticed that at some point in your life.

    Nevertheless, I believe we can, nay, we must fight back.

    Not that I’m advocating suppression.

    Excited, worried, sanguine, anxious, passionate, defeated: let them have their moment of attention – at the appropriate time.

    Maybe it’s all about the art of making all the selves get along?


    I imagine the old wise man, who has mastered that art.

    I know I’m not that old wise man yet.

    But I could be, if I make it a point to practice every day.

    And so could you, if you make it a point to practice every day.

    If that’s something that’s important to you, of course. That’s for you to decide, in your personal situation and in your personal life.

  • #212 Your beacon of trust

    835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

    It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

    Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

    None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

    The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

    Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

    It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

    It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

    In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

    And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

    I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

    And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

    P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

    After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

    You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

    Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

    P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

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    #28 Write anyway – then write some more

    Think you don’t have any good ideas to write about? Write anyway. Then write some more. The ideas might well reveal themselves on the page. (Morning Pages are good for this)

    Have an idea but struggle to put it into words? Write anyway… Then write some more.

    Struggling to edit your work and get it to a level where you believe it’s “publish-worthy”? Publish it anyway. especially when it’s imperfect. Once you see nothing bad happens when there’s a typo or an awkward sentence, your self-trust grows, your editing will become less judgmental, and your creativity will soar.

    Scared of publishing your work, being judged, being seen? Publish anyway. Then publish some more. When you increase your publishing frequency, there’s less burden on that one post, video, book, piece of art.

    You can only overcome the objections your mind invents by not letting them stop you from sculpting away, day by day.

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    #218 The United States of “If I wanted, I could”

    The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant. 

    Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

    That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.

    Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?

    Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?

    Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?

    Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?


    I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization. 

    Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.

    But even if they were, it doesn’t matter. 

    Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.

    Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”

    Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.

  • #298 Setting yourself up for success

    You can choose what success in your life looks like.

    And if you make your daily successes achievable enough so you feel successful every day, guess what: you’re a successful person now.

    There’s a reason it’s called Tiny Trust Builders, not massive out-of-reach Trust Builders.

    So celebrate that one-minute workout you did.
    That one sentence you wrote today.
    That one new word you learned in a new language.
    That one time you didn’t give in to cravings.

    Because daily Tiny Trust Builders create massive momentum and massive self-trust.

    And I don’t know about you, my friend, but I’d rather feel successful every day than like a failure because those good feelings will carry over in all other aspirations and relationships.

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