#548 Why you can’t fully relax
If you can’t fully focus
You’ll never be able to fully relax
And if you can’t fully turn it on
You’ll never be able to fully turn it off
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#178 You don’t have to master this today
ByLukasPerformance gap: the frustrating gap between the way you know something should be done in an ideal world and the way you currently do it.
I know I should write daily blog posts in advance so I have a buffer in case something comes up and I don’t get to write. Yet here I am, writing this daily insight hours before the publication date.
I know what the perfect downward-facing dog pose in yoga looks like. Yet when I perform it myself, I am far off from that ideal pose.
I know all the ingredients that make up a solid, convincing speech. Yet when I write one myself, I am only able to incorporate a few of those ingredients.
Learning, then, is closing the gap between your intellectual understanding of an ideal product, action, or skill, and your current rendition of it.
Don’t be so hard on yourself for your current performance.
You can’t expect to turn intellectual understanding into mastery and internalized knowledge right away.
You don’t have to master this today.
#287 Why it’s not so hard to be a writer today
ByLukasYou don’t have to believe yet you can write, meditate, do yoga every day.
But nothing stops you from acting as if you already can.
After all, what would your day look like if you were already able to write every day?
That’s right. Not so different, apart from the fact that you would write. Today.
So if you decide to write today, even if it’s just one sentence, you’re acting in the exact same way as a person who already knows they can write every day.
And if you act the same way… you’re becoming that person**.**
That’s a lot of words to say… it’s not so hard to be a writer today.
#68 The sitcom comparison
ByLukasWatching a sitcom or soap opera episode takes 20 minutes – and somehow, we always seem to find time for it.
Doing some stretches or a quick workout can take as little as 15 minutes – yet somehow, it’s very hard to find time for it.
Many good habits take take less time than watching a sitcom – and during and after, they’re often quite enjoyable. But our mind makes it so hard to start.
Whenever something that’s good for you feels insurmountable and your mind starts playing tricks on you, put it into perspective.
Doing this thing will take less time than watching a sitcom.
Maybe I could even do it while watching the sitcom.
And doing it will be a vote for the person I want to become.
#430 You are not your emotions
ByLukasYour anger is real. But you are not your anger.
Your worries are real. But that doesn’t mean it’s rooted in reality.
You aren’t scared. You feel scared.
You are not your emotions. Emotions are not your identity.
#142 Overcalibration
ByLukasGiving up on your intentions once doesn’t mean you’ll always give up.
Quitting a workout routine or diet once doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever.
Giving one clumsy speech doesn’t mean you’re a bad public speaker forever.
Learning from the past is good. But predicting the future based on a small set of isolated past experiences is overcalibration.
#5 How did I ever let that stop me?
ByLukasThe other day you asked about my favorite words.
But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.
Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.
Consider this one:
“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“
This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.
- Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
- Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
- Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?
And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.
“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”
Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:
“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”
How would I feel about myself…
How would I look at myself?
What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?
Which obstacles would I have conquered?
Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”
And just like that, with my imagination set free
internal resistance melting away
off I go
finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.
P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.
Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?
- Because it helps me slow down.
- Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
- Because I feel calm after writing them.
- Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
- Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.
P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:
Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?