#548 Why you can’t fully relax
If you can’t fully focus
You’ll never be able to fully relax
And if you can’t fully turn it on
You’ll never be able to fully turn it off
If you can’t fully focus
You’ll never be able to fully relax
And if you can’t fully turn it on
You’ll never be able to fully turn it off
Are you willing to say: nothing will make me sway?
Are you willing to say: even if nothing goes my way, this habit is here to stay?
When you write every day, you’ll start believing you can write every day.
When you run every day, you’ll start believing you can run every day.
Therefore, you don’t need to believe in your capabilities before taking action.
First, you act. Then your beliefs react.
If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.
My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.
Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?
I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.
Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.
Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.
But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.
Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.
First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.
In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.
Following rules just because they’re rules is silly.
Breaking rules just because you like breaking rules is equally silly.
I don’t know yet what I want to say today, and I write anyway.
I write anyway because it’s the only way to figure out what I want to say.
I do yoga because it’s the only way to understand why yoga is important.
I run because it’s the only way to figure out why running is worth it.
I spend time with family because it’s the only way to understand why love is important.
There’s no need to wait for reasons of motivation.
You do what you do to figure out why you’re doing it.
My sense of fulfillment comes from taking daily actions that are aligned with a personal philosophy and a purpose I intentionally determine.
As life unfolds, my purpose can change. My values can change. I can feel over the moon, dreadful, and everything in between.
My daily actions can change (and they certainly won’t always be aligned with my personal philosophy).
But the fulfillment formula always stays the same.
Are the majority of my daily actions in alignment with my purpose, values, and the identity I want to forge?
A consequence of this formula: Without clear purpose, without consciously choosing values or designing a personal philosophy, without knowing what you stand for and who you choose to be, it’s hard to feel fulfilled.
In short: intentional, aligned, disciplined living and identity building helps to feel fulfilled.