I don’t know why I decide to write every day.
But I know writing feels right.
I know it feels like what the person I want to be would do.
Sometimes, that explanation is not enough.
But usually that’s all the “why” I need to write again.
Starting a new habit seems to come with three universal “self-trust issues”:
Trust in my Intentions. “Do I even have the time for this? Does making time for this make me selfish… Is it even good for me to spend time on this, out of all the priorities in life? Will this do me in any good in the long term?”
Trust in my Ability to follow through. “I’ll probably give up at the first opportunity, and then beat myself up again for not following through.”
Trust in my Skills. “Am I even good enough? I don’t notice any improvement, I don’t think this is working for me. I don’t think I can do this.”
(Source: Eben Pagan)
And even though I’ve slowly been gaining trust across all three dimensions in the past two years…
Whenever I start something new – like publishing a daily insight – the same trust issues resurface.
“Trust in my ability to follow through” is a particularly tough cookie. Not a day goes by without a self-defeating and endlessly annoying voice whispering in my ear: “Go ahead, try me. See how long you last before you return with another habit you gave up on…”
Which leads me to the Completion Paradox:
Trust in my ability to complete things is not a prerequisite to get started. It’s earned through getting started in the first place and then, slowly, but surely, day by day, following through. Completing something every single day. Proving to myself that I can, in fact, trust myself to follow through. Building up that self-trust every day through tiny trust builders.
So… the questions I keep in mind today:
Taking it one step further:
And with those questions in mind, I realize a simple thought can put my mind at ease…
“It’s all fine… I’ve been through this before.”
Because when my dreams start drowning in doubts
And desire turns into despair
When I suddenly see what I always had in me
Who I could be
Yet my thoughts already declare defeat
I step back
Look back
Feel back
And when at last I notice
That day by day,
I’m finally unleashing the calling I’ve always ignored
I remind myself
It’s all fine. I’ve been through this before.
Shadow writer – someone who holds a secret desire, maybe even an irresistible urge to write but is afraid of being criticized – so their words never even make it on the page.
Shadow runner – someone who’d love to run a marathon but doesn’t believe they could train consistently enough to make it happen – so their legs never even take them on a single run.
Shadow singer – someone who loves singing but believes nobody will like their voice anyway – so their song never even reaches past the shower cabin.
Shadow entrepreneur – someone who has a big life-changing vision, but keeps it hidden out of fear of being ridiculed, dismissed, or ignored – so their ideas never even make it out of hiding.
Where are you staying in the shadow of your own self-denial?
Which daily Tiny Trust Builders could help you to step out of that shadow – and do what you always wanted to do?
It’s time.
(If this resonates, you might want to read The Artist’s Way)
Day 150: I started a podcast
First, I focused on becoming good at publishing my writing every day.
Then, I started focusing on getting better at writing—a never-ending story.
Now, 150 days later, the cycle starts over.
First, I focus on becoming good at publishing a podcast every day, narrating the daily insights from the newsletter.
And soon, I’ll start getting better at narrating the daily insights—a never-ending story.
You can do me a massive favor by subscribing to the podcast on your favorite podcast app, leaving a 5-star rating, and sharing the podcast with anyone who may find these daily reminders helpful.
The podcast schedule runs behind the newsletter schedule, so you won’t see audio narration for the newest Insights yet, but for older Insights, there’ll be audio embedded on the website.
Thanks so much for being on this journey with me!
Lick your wounds.
Learn the lessons.
Stop yourself from going astray.
Stay the course.
Come what may.
Tomorrow is another day.
When chasing fame leads to your own kids not remembering your name.
When chasing love leads to fear of being alone.
When chasing success leads to loneliness.
It may be necessary.
It may be good.
It may be worth it.
As long as you’re aware there’s always a sacrifice to make.
Intellectually understanding that the perfect speech includes a strong opening, humor, a dramatic demonstration, rhetorical elements, and emotional appeal doesn’t mean your next speech will contain those elements right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Intellectually understanding the nuances and body positioning of a yoga pose doesn’t mean the next time you stand in that pose, you’ll perform it perfectly right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Intellectually understanding verbs, tenses, or case systems in a foreign language doesn’t mean you’ll be able to use them correctly in conversations right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Turning intellectual understanding into internalized knowledge and skill is a slow, layered process:
