#214 Who’s in charge right now?

ByLukas
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Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

So I invite you to give it a try.

Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

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    A new phone out of necessity – because the old one broke.
    A new phone out of longing for the rush of something new.

    A new business idea because changing circumstances have rendered the old business model unviable.
    A new business idea because the previous one is progressing slower than I expected, and I’m getting bored.

    There are many reasons to embrace novelty. And there are just as many reasons to fight it.

    Both are fine, as long as you know what’s driving you.
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    #26 Becoming less blind to what’s already here

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    I write about the same topics over and over again, with slightly different words.

    I listen to people explaining the same topics over and over again, with a slightly different interpretation.

    I practice the same breathing exercises every day, becoming aware of changes so subtle it’s hard to believe they make any difference.

    While all that energy spent on what seems like “repeating” and “reviewing” might seem like a waste of time, the constant revisiting of things we already know is how I grow.

    Because with every repetition I’m discovering a new part of the same insight.

    A new nuance that in itself might seem insignificant, but added to my personal experience, insights, understanding, might make all the difference.

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    In the process, I have to accept that the perfect words might never come.

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    The perfect execution of a skill might never happen.

    But if I stay the course, my understanding of what matters to me in life will always keep growing.

    At some point, through all the practicing, learning, reading, writing, I might stumble upon a groundbreaking insight.

    Or maybe it never happens.

    It doesn’t matter. I feel fulfilled regardless… As long as I keep sculpting away, day by day.

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    #134 Losing makes you a loser – and that’s fine

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    You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.

    But you CAN:

    • stop caring about winning and losing in the first place; or
    • change your definition of winning and losing so winning becomes easier, and losing harder.

    What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?

    What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?

    What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?

    Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.

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