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    #242 The accomplishments that slipped away

    Over the years, I’ve become quite skilled at letting present worries overshadow past triumphs.

    But what would it be like to let past triumphs overshadow present worries?

    And what would it be like to have present triumphs overshadow past worries?

    Maybe you know better than me, my friend. Or maybe it’s something you’d like to practice too.

    Here’s a journal prompt to get us started:

    What’s a forgotten accomplishment from your past that once filled you with pride but has since slipped away from your thoughts?

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    #238 A path paved by Tiny Trust Builders

    My actions affect my identity and beliefs.

    And my identity and beliefs affect which actions I take.

    So, to change, I must consciously take actions that divert from my established identity and beliefs, and do what you believe is impossible for yourself.

    Until it’s not impossible anymore.

    It’s not an easy road, my friend. It takes courage. Effort. Sometimes pain.

    Many times, it’s not worth it.

    But sometimes, there’s no other way.

    And in those moments, it’s good to know there’s always someone willing to show you a path, paved by Tiny Trust Builders, taking you wherever you want to go.

    Since you’re reading my letters, that someone could be me, my friend.

    Or anyone else you know.

    I guess all I want to say is: you’re not in this alone.

  • #209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap

    Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

    But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

    Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

    When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

    And so the pressure mounts.


    Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

    Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

    Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

    To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

    Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

    Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

    Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

    Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

    Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

    Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

    Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

  • #12 Back on track – discipline vs regret

    Almost broke the chain today.

    Then I remembered:

    “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

    Jim Rohn

    Nothing builds more trust than daily practice, back to back.

    Today, remembering that is more than enough.

    I’m back on track.

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    #60 Memory is context

    Memory is context – in language and in general.

    Context of words surrounded by other words and sounds within a sentence.

    • apple orchard

    Context of words surrounded by actions – actor, action, object affected (in whatever way or order your mother tongue expresses it).

    • I pick an apple from the tree.

    Context of words and the images they spur.

    • An apple falls on Newton’ head.
    • An apple falls off a tree in my grandparents’ garden.
    • I bite into a green apple – a bit sour. I don’t like it.
    • The first time I combine an apple part with peanut butter. Delicious.

    Context of words and the feelings they evoke.

    • I’m thirsty and hungry after a volleyball game. The first bite of an apple – what a relief.
    • My grandpa cuts an apple and gives me a part. Safety. Home.
    • I eat 2 apples and my mouth starts itching. Allergy? Fear.

    When learning another language, you can link words to the context of your mother tongue.

    But to truly understand them, you’ll have to create a new context too.

    For example, an apple in Spanish: una manzana.

    Seemingly the same object, now perceived through new sounds.

    • huerto de manzanas (apple orchard)

    New actions.

    • Yo limpio una manzana. (I wash/clean an apple.)

    New images.

    • I see una manzana in a Mexican supermarket. Someone is polishing it with wax to make it extra shiny. The first time I saw was in Mexico. So I didn’t see the guy polishing an apple. Vi a un hombre encerando una manzana. (I saw a guy putting wax on an apple.)

    New feelings.

    • Compré una manzana (I bought an apple) and ate it without washing it well. My stomach wasn’t happy with my actions.

    Keeping all that in mind, are we really still talking about the same object? Is the Spanish manzana encerada that made me sick in Spanish the same as the apple my grandpa helped me pick? If it is, do I now have a richer perception of that object that once up on a time, I could only interact with through the limits of one language?

    Learning vocabulary lists with isolated words will never get you fluent in a foreign language.

    If you don’t build a new context of sounds, actions, images, feelings, you’ll always keep imposing your mother tongue on the foreign language.

    That’s why you can’t just learn a foreign language. You have to live it.

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    #103 Show me one daily action

    So you say you want to be a writer?
    Show me one daily action that proves that’s true.

    So you say you value connection with family and friends?
    Show me one daily action that demonstrates you do.

    So you say you want to learn a foreign language?
    Show me one daily action. Show me you’ll follow through.

    Show me one daily action. Not for me. But for you.

    For you to start believing you care.

    That your dreams and desires aren’t just castles in the air.

    That you dare to build an identity that supports your values and aspirations.

    Because actions overrule thoughts.

    Actions form (or break) beliefs.

    Actions aligned with your values build trust in your good intentions, and change your identity.

    One action a day. That’s all it takes.

    Lukas Van Vyve

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