#254 Who are you trying to convince here?
Who are you trying to convince here?
Is it others, who hold their own perspectives and judgments?
Or is it yourself, wrestling with self-doubt and seeking reassurance?
The only approval you need is your own.
Who are you trying to convince here?
Is it others, who hold their own perspectives and judgments?
Or is it yourself, wrestling with self-doubt and seeking reassurance?
The only approval you need is your own.
With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: š
1ļøā£ Step 1: Intent Builder.
Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.
Why is this important to you?
What do you stand to gain?
Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?
(āļøI guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)
2ļøā£ Step 2: Trust Builder.
In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:
Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?
Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?
Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).
This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.
But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.
3ļøā£ Step 3: Skill Builder.
Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:
š Make things a little harder every day or week
š Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…
Bottom line:
Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.
It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.
Introspection prompts of the day:
What are the things you truly can’t do without?
How do you know?
Have you tried?
Are you scared to try?
If you could, would you WANT to do without them?
Or are you happy to have them in your life?
No good or bad answers. No action needed – unless you want to.
I can say I want to publish a new book.
Double my income.
Get in shape.
Learn another language.
But hidden beneath the surface of lofty goals are daily actions.
Publishing a book⦠What does that really mean?
Who is that person who has published the book? (Not just written… actually published?)
What do they say to themselves?
What do they think?
What do they feel?
What do they do every day? And what can I start doing every day to become more of that person who has written that book?
Most importantly, am I willing to take those actions every day to reach whatever goal I’m after?
Am I willing to change?
If not, is that goal even important to me?
Who do I choose to be?
Go slow, slow, slow
Until all the friction has dissolved
Life is back in flow
Then let go.
āIām not negotiating with myself. I signed that contract with myself, Iām doing it.ā – Kobe Bryant
— Kobe Highlights & Motivation (@kobehighlight) January 1, 2022
Mamba motivation to start the New Year (via Jay Shetty).
pic.twitter.com/CZMfnezIQx
I commit to taking a cold shower. To publish a daily blog post. To do a yoga class, because these actions contribute to my vision for who I want to be.
I commit, despite the knowledge that when the time has come, right before I turn the shower tap to cold, I won’t want to take a cold shower.
That right before I start writing an article, my mind will throw a million distractios at me.
That right before my yoga workout, my mind will start negotiating with itself, coming up with reasons why I’d better do something else.
“Today it’s cold outside, what if I start tomorrow?”
“I don’t feel like it today, maybe I’ll just write two articles tomorrow?”
“{{insert any excuse my mind makes up to avoid short-term discomfort}}
But now is not the time to negotiate.
Do I choose the long-term pain of regret over the short-term pain of discipline?
Do I choose to cultivate a procrastinator identity, or do I become a go-getter?
Who do I want (and choose) to be?
I can evaluate and adjust my plan afterwards.
But now is not the time to negotiate.
You know I like word games, my friend.
Letās play with mistakes today.
I donāt like that wordāsuch a negative emotional charge.
And whatās the opposite of a mistake, anyway?
We have a word for doing things wrong, but not for doing things right?
Could we call mistakes lessons?
Bleh, so bland. Heard that a million times before.
What about misguided actions?
Better. Actions that guide me away from my intended outcome. And after a misguided action, I adjust my strategy. I course-correct. Until I get it right and take… guided action?
Weāre not there yet. But guided and misguided actions… I donāt know about you, my friend, but to me, thatās going in the right direction.
A bit like traction and distraction.
But thatās a word game for another day.