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    #98 The Socializing-Solitude Alternation

    Appreciation arises from contrast.

    How can I enjoy food without knowing what it’s like to be hungry?

    How can I appreciate the beauty of a painting without comparing it to something I’ve experienced as ugly?

    How can I appreciate social connections without being familiar with solitude? (Not loneliness. Solitude.)

    Constant connectivity (especially shallow connections through social media apps) without breaks from socializing numbs the whole bonding experience.

    Alternating socializing with solitude warms the heart.


    Inspired by Cal Newport’s excellent book Digital Minimalism.

  • #383 A counterintuitive approach to skill building

    With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

    1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

    Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

    Why is this important to you?

    What do you stand to gain?

    Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

    (❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

    2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

    In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

    Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

    Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

    Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

    This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

    But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

    3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

    Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

    👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
    👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

    Bottom line:

    Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

    It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

  • #392 Why it’s fine to go slow and steady

    It’s fine to go slow and steady until you’re ready to go faster.

    And even when you’re ready to go faster, it’s still fine to go slow and steady.

    Slow and steady, so you have the space to listen to the sounds.

    Slow and steady, so you have time to look around.

    Slow and steady, so you don’t burn out.

    Slow and steady, so you enjoy the journey.

    Slow and steady.

    Always moving.

    Always in flow.

    Always ready.

    When you go slow and steady.

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    #267 Why intensity fades and consistency leads to change

    When you write 50 pages a day, only to be forced to recover for a month.

    When you start running 5 miles a day without any preparation, only to end up injured.

    When you start studying a language for 5 hours a day, only to give up after a week.

    When you fly so close to the sun, your wings melt.

    When intensity and excitement radiate too brightly, and the reality of life suddenly slaps you in the face.

    That’s when you start appreciating the slow, steady flame of consistency that burns long and becomes brighter over time.

    And that’s when you’ll see lasting change.

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