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  • #383 A counterintuitive approach to skill building

    With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

    1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

    Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

    Why is this important to you?

    What do you stand to gain?

    Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

    (❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

    2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

    In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

    Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

    Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

    Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

    This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

    But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

    3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

    Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

    👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
    👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

    Bottom line:

    Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

    It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

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    #217 Inaction is not the lack of action

    If I don’t write the post I intended to write, I actively avoid the desired result of my writing.

    If I don’t do the workout I intended to do, I actively avoid the desired result of my workout (being in better shape, running a new PR,…)

    If I don’t have the difficult conversation I intended to have, I actively avoid the desired result of that conversation.


    Inaction is not the lack of action.

    Inaction is taking active action to avoid working towards the result you desire.

    The real question, then, is:

    Why do I actively avoid working toward a desired result?

    Am I worried that even if I write daily, I’ll never become a skilled writer?

    Am I worried I won’t enjoy writing anymore if I ever get recognition?

    Am I worried that writing every day will turn me into a skilled writer, but being a professional writer won’t be fulfilling?

    P.S. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I only have a limited repertoire of examples in this newsletter, my friend

    I trust you to apply the insight to your situation.

    And maybe, when you’re pondering the question above, you’ll come to the same conclusion as me:

    That more often than not, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

  • #356 Don’t be guilted into discipline

    You don’t become truly happy when a Duolingo owl, notifications, or leaderboards guilted them into spending hours on their phone – even if they learn something.

    Could we create learning environments that build self-trust (you showed up because it’s important for you to show up)?

    Discipline (I stuck to my plan and I feel good about it)?

    Agency (I chose to do this today)?

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