#459 When to question yourself (and when to stop)

With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

Why is this important to you?

What do you stand to gain?

Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

(❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

Bottom line:

Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

The other day you asked about my favorite words.

But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

Consider this one:

“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

• Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
• Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
• Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

How would I feel about myself…

How would I look at myself?

What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

Which obstacles would I have conquered?

Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

And just like that, with my imagination set free

internal resistance melting away

off I go

finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

• Because it helps me slow down.
• Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
• Because I feel calm after writing them.
• Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
• Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

Everything is impossible until suddenly it’s possible.

And then you’ll find the next thing that’s impossible.

The cycle of piercing through the veil is impossibility is eternal.

Frustrating when you forget.

Comforting when you remember.