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    #166 It’s not about goals, it’s about the questions they raise

    “If successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals, then the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers.”

    https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems

    It’s not about having goals. It’s about the follow-up questions goals raise.

    “Will pursuing this goal be good for me? Physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially?”

    “Is there any part of myself, my environment, and the people I care about that will suffer if I pursue this goal?”

    “Who will I have become when I have achieved this goal?”

    “Who do I need to be today to achieve this goal?”

    “Which actions can I take today that bring me closer to achieving a goal?”

    Repeated actions will overrule your thoughts. Repeated actions will change your identity. Better choose your goals and your actions intentionally.

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    #162 Maintaining the majority

    If you write more consistently than you don’t write, you’re a writer.

    If you run more consistently than you don’t run, you’re a runner.

    And while every action you take is a vote for who you want to be, you don’t need 100% of the votes to build a habit or adopt an identity.

    It’s okay to slip up, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to make a mistake – as long as you cast enough votes in favor of your desired identity.

    Don’t be a hardliner nor a totalitarian. Be disciplined without fearing the occasional laps.

    Focus on maintaining the majority.

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    #112 Chipping away at your skepticism

    You don’t have to believe you can do, be or achieve something today.

    But you must trust there’s always a tiny daily action, fairly easy to take, that goes against your disbelief.

    A tiny daily trusty builder, repeated every day, that chips away at your skepticism and plants a seed of self-trust in your brain: “Maybe I CAN change”?

    Then one day, you wake up and you believe: I can be whoever I choose to be.

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    #29 The myth of self-sabotage

    All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.

    So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.

    In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.

    Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.

    Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.

    Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).

    Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.

    If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?

    Or even better than just asking: journal about it.

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