#231 When everything is urgent

ByLukas

When everything is urgent, how do we know what to do first?

One solution is adding more nuance:

What’s the most urgent?

What’s the most important?

Breathing is urgent.

A crying child is urgent.

A toilet visit can be urgent.

Sending that email out tonight right before bed instead of tomorrow, maybe not so much?

Here’s the important question:

If you’re going to prioritize the urgent matters anyway, why stress yourself out by calling everything urgent in the first place?

Making everything urgent devalues truly urgent matters.

Because when everything is urgent, nothing is urgent anymore.

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    #80 Replacing sensations with words

    ByLukas

    First I feel.

    Then I learn to categorize those feelings with words – until at some point, I don’t feel sensations anymore. I feel words.

    I say I’m angry – but what does being angry feel like again?

    I say I’m happy – but which sensations rush through my body?

    I say I’m sad – but does sadness always feel the same?

    With sensations comes nuance.

  • | |

    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    ByLukas

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

  • |

    #101 It’s all about the actions

    ByLukas

    Achieving an outcome without the daily actions that lead to an identity shift is empty and unsustainable.

    I may want to publish a book. But if someone writes the whole book without my input and I put my name on it in the end, do I deserve to call it my book?

    I have a book. But I’m not a writer. And I’m not an author.

    I may want to have a million dollars. But if tomorrow I win the lottery or receive a large inheritance without any action from my side, what does that mean?

    I have a million dollars. But I’m not wealthy – and research suggests that without proper guidance, I’ll spend it all, ending up back at square one.

    It works the other way around, too. You can blindly chase an outcome (or slip into bad habits) without considering how the actions you need to take to get there will change you as a person.

    Depending on your actions to get there, chasing fame can make you happy – or very unhappy. Writing a book can make you happy or very unhappy. Building a hugely successful company can make you happy or very unhappy.

    The value, satisfaction, and resentment are all in the actions, not the outcome.

  • #388 The one tiny thing you should do today

    ByLukas

    What’s one tiny thing you can do every day that proves to yourself that your goals are important to you?

    One tiny action you can take even on the worst days when you’re sick, your car breaks down, or you have a crazy busy day?

    One tiny action that, if done every day, will transform your identity?

    One Tiny Trust Builder that shows: “This is what I stand for, who I am, and who I want to be.”

    Decide on it. Stick to it. And as your self-trust grows… be happier for it.

  • #448 What would you like to become good at?

    ByLukas

    What would you like to become good at?

    Why do you want to become good at this? Passion? Purpose? Impressing others?

    Are you willing to spend a lot of time to become good at this?

    Are you willing to give up other things to become good at this?

    Are you making life harder for yourself by trying to become good at this?

    Is that worth it?

    …

    The question that rules them all:

    How easy was it to answer the questions above?

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