Do you really want to write a book? Or do you actually want to dream about writing a book?
Do you really want to drop everything and move to a sea-side town? Or do you want to dream about dropping everything and move to a sea-side town?
Both are fine. Both can be fulfilling, because often, having a dream is enough.
But both are not the same.
Only you will know if it’s the dream that makes you happy, or the action you want to take.
Think you don’t have any good ideas to write about? Write anyway. Then write some more. The ideas might well reveal themselves on the page. (Morning Pages are good for this)
Have an idea but struggle to put it into words? Write anyway… Then write some more.
Struggling to edit your work and get it to a level where you believe it’s “publish-worthy”? Publish it anyway. especially when it’s imperfect. Once you see nothing bad happens when there’s a typo or an awkward sentence, your self-trust grows, your editing will become less judgmental, and your creativity will soar.
Scared of publishing your work, being judged, being seen? Publish anyway. Then publish some more. When you increase your publishing frequency, there’s less burden on that one post, video, book, piece of art.
You can only overcome the objections your mind invents by not letting them stop you from sculpting away, day by day.
Try to hold me back. Put obstacles in my way. Do whatever you want. But this new habit is here to stay.
Good things happen when you say those words to the world.
Even better things happen when you say those exact same words to yourself.
Performance gap: the frustrating gap between how you know something should be done in an ideal world and how you currently do it.
One implication of the performance gap: you don’t have to master this skill today.
Another implication, maybe even more important: your idea of how something “should be done” is probably wrong anyway.
Because as you practice and gain mastery, you’ll also gain progressive insight: a more nuanced intellectual understanding of the skill you’re practicing.
What I thought was a “good” yoga session six months ago, I now see as a session full of misalignment and cramped muscles.
What I thought of as a solid piece of writing six months ago, I now see as an argument full of holes and points of improvement.
Sometimes, progressive insight is just about more nuances.
Sometimes, progressive insight shows that your initial intellectual understanding completely missed the mark.
There’s only one way to find out: practice: Sculpt away, day by day.
There is no such thing as “abstaining from voting” in life.
Whether I decide to write today or not, I’m living my life and voting for an identity.
Whether I decide to do yoga today or not, I’m living a life and voting for an identity.
Whether I eat healthily today or not, I’m living my life and voting for an identity.
Whether I spend time with my family or not, I’m living my life and voting for an identity.
Voting is compulsory. Voting is inevitable.
You might as well do it intentionally.
Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.
But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.
Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.
When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.
And so the pressure mounts.
Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.
Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.
Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.
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To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).
Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.
Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.
Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.
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Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.
Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.
Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.
Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.
Start small.
Very small.
So small, it might feel silly at first.
For example, if you’ve committed to writing every day, don’t start by aiming to write a thousand words. Start with something you can absolutely, positively achieve.
Maybe that’s writing one sentence. Maybe it’s opening your notebook. Maybe it’s just holding a pen!
Your goal isn’t to produce fantastic prose, but simply to show up and write something.
After all, before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.
