#196 What’s it all about?
Every day we spend another day of our lives.
Where do I spend it?
Why?
Who do I spend it with?
Why?
What do I spend it on?
Why?
What’s it all about?
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#24 Put your actions where your mouth is
ByLukasHere’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:
Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.
https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.
Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.
As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.
And that’s how we get out of a rut.
(The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)
Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:
- First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
“I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.” - Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
“Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session. - Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots. - At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.
Which begs the question…
Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?
Lukas Van VyvePut your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.
- First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
#479 Fighting vs Facing a Fear
ByLukasFighting a fear makes it fester.
Facing a fear makes it disappear.
#91 Now is not the time to negotiate
ByLukas“I’m not negotiating with myself. I signed that contract with myself, I’m doing it.” – Kobe Bryant
— Kobe Highlights & Motivation (@kobehighlight) January 1, 2022
Mamba motivation to start the New Year (via Jay Shetty).
pic.twitter.com/CZMfnezIQxI commit to taking a cold shower. To publish a daily blog post. To do a yoga class, because these actions contribute to my vision for who I want to be.
I commit, despite the knowledge that when the time has come, right before I turn the shower tap to cold, I won’t want to take a cold shower.
That right before I start writing an article, my mind will throw a million distractios at me.
That right before my yoga workout, my mind will start negotiating with itself, coming up with reasons why I’d better do something else.
“Today it’s cold outside, what if I start tomorrow?”
“I don’t feel like it today, maybe I’ll just write two articles tomorrow?”
“{{insert any excuse my mind makes up to avoid short-term discomfort}}But now is not the time to negotiate.
Do I choose the long-term pain of regret over the short-term pain of discipline?
Do I choose to cultivate a procrastinator identity, or do I become a go-getter?
Who do I want (and choose) to be?
I can evaluate and adjust my plan afterwards.
But now is not the time to negotiate.
#229 What are you striving for?
ByLukasAm I running to get in better shape or to get distracting thoughts out of my head?
Am I going out to enjoy being with friends or to forget my worries?
Am I writing to grow an audience or to process my own emotions?
What am I striving for?
Your answers may vary from day to day. There are no right or wrong answers anyway.
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t useful to understand why you behave the way you do.
Maybe it even makes you curious about why others behave the way they do, too.
#468 There’s wisdom in wrong turns
ByLukasFinding the right path for you often means first taking the wrong turns.
Just like learning what works usually means first learning what doesn’t work.
Because gaining experience is learning to discern and distinguish between what works and what doesn’t.
And the best way to learn to discern right and wrong is by doing things right and wrong.
There’s wisdom in wrong turns.
#105 This is how you make the future yours
ByLukasWhen it comes to habits, our actions in the present make future present moments more (or less) likely.
Do I journal today? That’s a vote for my journaling identity – which increases the likelihood of another journaling moment tomorrow. Predictive power.
Do I check Instagram today? That’s a vote for my Instagram-browsing identity – which increases the likelihood of another Instagram moment tomorrow. Predictive power.
Have I journaled 700 days in a row? I can say quite confidently I’ll journal again tomorrow. Massive predictive power.
So how do change the future?
Weaken the predictive power of one habit – stop taking the actions you want to change.
Strengthen the predictive power of a new habit – intentionally start taking different actions, and let every present moment be a vote for that new habit (and new identity).
The process is challenging and slow.
You’ll need patience.
Willpower to resist the pull of habits that have already accumulated tremendous predictive power.
You’ll need presence of mind and perseverance to choose new actions because you know they’re important to you.
It’s challenging. Slow. And worth it.
Because this is how you make the future yours.