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    #294 The true purpose of goals

    Goals make you write every day and enjoy the process, even if you’ll never publish a book.

    Goals make you practice yoga and get to know your body, even if you’ll never be able to be in that ultimate pose.

    Goals makes you help someone and learn to give and contribute, even if your help ultimately doesn’t get them to the place they wanted to go.

    Goals don’t predict outcomes. Because the purpose of a goal is not to achieve it, but to set the direction of your life.

    It gives you the fuel to start taking action, and the guidance to make sure that action is intentional.

    I don’t know about you, my friend, but to me, that’s a fulfilling thought.

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    #139 Habit Milestones

    The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

    Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

    “If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

    The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

    “It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

    When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

    When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

    Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

    But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

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    #85 Habit Containers

    If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.

    My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.

    Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?

    I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.

    Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.

    Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.

    But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.

    Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.

    First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.

    In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.

  • #27 Appreciating the meaningless melody of a foreign language

    Learning a foreign language is both a frustrating and liberating experience.

    We can focus on the frustration of not understanding the words the way we understand our mother tongue. Or we can realize that without the words, we are free to fall back on other ways of capturing and understanding meaning.

    A crying baby can be soothed by words it does not yet understand, because she senses what’s behind the sounds, lets the meaningless melody cradle her to sleep…

    Similarly, we don’t always have to know what’s behind the words, as long as we make an effort to understand the meaning behind the sounds.

    Hearing a foreign language brings us back to that wordless world the way we experienced it as a newborn, before we tried so hard to put everything within and around us into language.

    It makes us remember, there’s more to life than our words will ever allow us to express. And somehow, that’s a soothing thought.

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