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    #207 Overgeneralization vs Undergeneralization

    Overgeneralization: I failed to stick to a new habit once, so I’ll always give up.

    Undergeneralization: Even though I’ve been writing consistently for months, I’m still expecting the day I’ll finally give up again.

    Both are manifestations of self-sabotage and perpetuations of a negative self-image.

    The only way out: don’t focus on habits, focus on Tiny Trust Builders.

    Let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

    Let your actions overrule your thoughts.

    Let your actions change your identity.

    One day at a time.

  • #383 A counterintuitive approach to skill building

    With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

    1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

    Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

    Why is this important to you?

    What do you stand to gain?

    Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

    (❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

    2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

    In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

    Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

    Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

    Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

    This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

    But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

    3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

    Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

    👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
    👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

    Bottom line:

    Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

    It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

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    #263 Stop, even if you could do more

    Ernest Hemingway allegedly stopped his writing sessions in the middle of a sentence so he knew how to start his next session. He stopped writing, even if he could do more.

    Julia Cameron teaches to write precisely three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling a day. Stop journaling, even if you could do more.

    I’ve gotten better results studying foreign languages 20 minutes a day for several months than rushing into a new language and studying it for 3 hours a day, then crashing and burning. I stop myself from learning, even if I could do more.

    Because burnout and overindulgence stifle progress, and in the long run, moderation leads to more.

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    #143 Tipping the scale

    A voice in my head says I can’t write every day?

    I’ll write 2 sentences every day, just to prove to that voice that I, in fact, CAN write every day.

    A voice in my head says I don’t have the perseverance to train for (and then finish) a marathon?

    I’ll do something small to prepare for the marathon every day, so at the end of each day, I can say to myself “The proof is there, today was another day of me persevering and preparing for a marathon.”

    You can’t brute-force your way out of an “I can’t do this” belief. You can only take small actions that start proving the contrary.

    Slowly but surely, you chip away at the credibility of the naysayer voice, until the scale starts tipping over, and an encouraging voice emerges.

    Tiny trust builders.

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    #288 The one constraint that makes everything better

    What’s the one Tiny Trust Builder you can do for yourself; one little thing thing that makes you feel good about yourself, and because you feel good, you’re good to other around you too?

    What’s that one small constraint YOU decide to put on your day that, when protected fiercely, makes everything else so much better?

    And if you know it makes everything better and you aren’t protecting it fiercely yet – why not?

    Could you start today?

  • #426 Back again

    You’ll end up in the season of distraction.

    And then you’ll be back again.

    You’ll end up in the season of rest.

    And then you’ll be back again.

    You’ll end up in the season of turmoil.

    And then you’ll be back again.

    And the more you go “back again” to a path, the stronger that default path becomes.

    Choose it wisely.

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