The moment you accept you don’t feel like writing today and tell yourself that’s fine, is the moment you’ll write again.
Because you can only know and do what’s best for you when you stop fighting yourself.
All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.
So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.
In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.
Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.
Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.
Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).
Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.
If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?
Or even better than just asking: journal about it.
Thinking hard doesn’t make the pressure of “finding something to write about” go away.
Writing does.
A neurotransmitter that once helped us evolve and motivated us to go out and explore the world now has us glued to screens and plates filled with sugary food.
Dopamine tells us not just to eat, but to eat more.
Not just to read a useful article, but click more headlines.
Swipe through more videos and photos.
Watch more episodes on Netflix.
Yet, when I interrupt the dopamine reward loop and resist the need for more, I’m pulled back into the now, and strangely enough, I actually see more. Hear more. Feel more.
Sometimes, to get more, you need to moderate.
You’ll end up in the season of distraction.
And then you’ll be back again.
You’ll end up in the season of rest.
And then you’ll be back again.
You’ll end up in the season of turmoil.
And then you’ll be back again.
And the more you go “back again” to a path, the stronger that default path becomes.
Choose it wisely.
You don’t have to believe yet you can write, meditate, do yoga every day.
But nothing stops you from acting as if you already can.
After all, what would your day look like if you were already able to write every day?
That’s right. Not so different, apart from the fact that you would write. Today.
So if you decide to write today, even if it’s just one sentence, you’re acting in the exact same way as a person who already knows they can write every day.
And if you act the same way… you’re becoming that person**.**
That’s a lot of words to say… it’s not so hard to be a writer today.
Victory passes.
So does defeat.
Exhaustion passes.
So does excitement.
And because it all passes, the highest peaks and lowest lows are probably not your most reliable guides to make life decisions.
Take a step back.
Wait until the emotions pass and you see clearly again.
Then you can make choices that stand the test of time.
