#511 What comes next came before

ByLukas

Unexplored territory to you is usually well-trodden path to someone else.

So observe. Learn.

Because what comes next also came before.

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    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    ByLukas

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

  • #426 Back again

    ByLukas

    You’ll end up in the season of distraction.

    And then you’ll be back again.

    You’ll end up in the season of rest.

    And then you’ll be back again.

    You’ll end up in the season of turmoil.

    And then you’ll be back again.

    And the more you go “back again” to a path, the stronger that default path becomes.

    Choose it wisely.

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    #92 The true purpose of memory

    ByLukas

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

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    #257 Not pleasant, but predictable

    ByLukas

    Getting worked up about traffic jams is not pleasant, but it’s predictable. And addictive.

    So is giving up on writing a book, quitting a workout regime, and re-living any conflict or failure.

    Not pleasant. But predictable.

    This is how you’ve always felt. And this is how you’ll always feel – unless you become aware of the unpleasant, predictable, addictive patterns and decide to act differently.

    Not only once, not twice, but every time you become aware of the pattern until you’ve built enough self-trust that you know the unpleasant predictable events aren’t inevitable.

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    #214 Who’s in charge right now?

    ByLukas

    Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

    I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

    The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

    The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

    The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

    The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

    So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

    Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

    It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

    And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

    So I invite you to give it a try.

    Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

    Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

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    #115 The path to higher self-esteem

    ByLukas

    Whenever someone commits to doing something and doesn’t follow through, I start distrusting them.

    Whenever I commit to doing something and don’t follow through, I start distrusting myself.

    The person who most often lets you down might well be you.

    If you don’t accept this behavior from others, why would you accept it from yourself?

    The path to higher self-esteem is paved with kept promises to yourself.

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