Daily practice without the pressure of daily perfection.
Consistency without guilt when you fall off the bandwagon once in a while.
Doing activities that make you feel good about yourself, not guilty.
That’s what a sustainably healthy life looks like.
You don’t need a better system, a habit, or even motivation to write today day.
If deep down you now you want to be a writer, you just need to show up and write today.
If you do that often enough, the habit, the system, and the motivation will come.
What would your future look like if you weren’t rushing to get there so fast?
What would your present look like if you didn’t let it be limited by the past?
What would your dreams look like if you realized your potential is vast?
Would you be free at last?
All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.
So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.
In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.
Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.
Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.
Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).
Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.
If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?
Or even better than just asking: journal about it.
If you’re curious about one topic, you can stay curious, even if your interests change over time.
If you’re kind to one person, you can stay kind when talking to other people.
If you showed leadership in your last job, you can show leadership in your new job.
You can be consistent in how you do things, without having to be consistent in what you do.
What do you see that others don’t even notice?
What do you feel that others don’t even seem to care about?
What do you like to do that most others never even entertain?
What do you write about that most others haven’t even considered?
And instead of seeing such differences as a societal warning sign, discouraging you from pursuing it…
Can you see them as an encouraging sign of unique contributions you’re about to make?
Embrace your individuality.
You can be an aspiring writer without writing.
You can be a former writer without writing.
But you can only call yourself a writer today when you have proof that you’re currently writing.
