#224 What a burden

ByLukas

The other day, I talked about changing your focus to change how you feel about the events in your day.

But something strange happened when I first had that realization.

It didn’t feel like a relief.

Do I even want that responsibility? To choose how events affect me?

After all, that would take away my right to complain about how poorly life treats me.
I couldn’t ascribe any successes or achievements to “sheer luck” anymore.
And wouldn’t it be silly to say I don’t deserve happiness, luck, or anything good if I knew I could change my focus and be lucky this very moment?

What a burden.

I’m still deciding if I am strong enough to carry it.

But one thing’s for sure: the days I have the presence of mind to direct my focus are the days I feel best.

I wonder if it’d be like that for you, too.

Maybe you could try it out? Even if it’s to indulge me.

See how it feels.

And let me know how it goes. I’m curious about you.

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  • #212 Your beacon of trust

    ByLukas

    835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

    It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

    Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

    None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

    The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

    Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

    It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

    It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

    In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

    And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

    I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

    And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

    P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

    After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

    You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

    Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

    P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

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    #92 The true purpose of memory

    ByLukas

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

  • |

    #265 Dance the barbell balance of life

    ByLukas

    Living a balanced life doesn’t mean living average experiences.

    It’s more like a barbell, or a seesaw, where you go all in on complementary actions.

    Work hard, rest hard.

    Write with total focus, then fully let go when you’ve hit your word target.

    Work out with full intensity, then let your body fully recover.

    So when you’re out of balance, the solution is not to come closer to the middle.

    Instead, you start doing less of what you’re already doing or add more of the polar opposite of what you’re already doing.

    Figure out your polar opposite pairs, and give them both the attention they deserve. That’s how you dance the barbell balance of life.

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