#83 Want vs Choose
When I don’t want to want anymore, and choose to act instead, I start becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.
Not right away. But day by day.
Lukas Van Vyve
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#429 Use whatever it takes
ByLukasWillpower.
Habit.
Discipline.
Connection with your purpose.
Use whatever it takes to do what you know is important to you.
#381 Why you should make habits doable and frequent
ByLukasThe more frequent and the less intrusive the habit, the easier it is to stick to.
Commit to writing for an hour once week? You’ll find a million reasons to procrastinate until the very last moment, on Sunday night, to write.
Commit to writing for 5 minutes once a day? The timeline is so short, there are no more excuses.
Make it doable. Make it frequent. And suddenly every habit is within reach.
#546 The easiest path to where you want to go
ByLukasThe easiest path is to miss all days – you never get going in the first place so you don’t know what you’re missing.
The second easiest is to never miss a day – you’ll get where you want to go with little detours, even if you pay the cost of discipline.
The hardest (and most common) path is to miss a couple of days here and there – now you run the risk of getting lost.
We all miss a day sometimes – so we all get a little lost once in a while.
So what do we do?
We remind ourselves why we got started.
We remind ourselves where we’re going.
We remind ourselves that we’ve been lost before – and that we can always get back on track.
#15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself
ByLukasWhat you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.
To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.
The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).
How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:
- Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
- Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
- Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
- Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
- Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
#148 It’s not a choice
ByLukasWhen everyone starts using AI chatbots to write, but the insights inside your body and mind scream to be poured on the page – writing is not a choice.
When everyone dreads yet another practice session, but you know running the same route for the millionth time is all it takes to make you feel alive – running is not a choice.
When you’ve tripped over the same bar a thousand times, but you know the release of getting it right will energize you for days to come – playing the guitar is not a choice.
When your big vision has been rejected over and over again, but you know you will not rest until you’ve brought your life-changing ideas to the world – being an entrepreneur is not a choice.
When what drains others is your lifeblood, deep inside, you know life leaves you no other choice.
Because life is all about passion.
Passion is about a lifetime of practice.
A lifetime of practice becomes your identity.
And your identity is what makes you put your heart on the line.
#82 Choice Inflection and New Defaults
ByLukasOnce upon a time, I consciously chose to brush my teeth every day, until brushing my teeth became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT brushing my teeth.
Once upon a time, during a pandemic, we consciously chose to wear face masks, until wearing face masks became the new default. Then the conscious choice we had to make was NOT wearing the face mask anymore.
Once upon a time, I consciously chose to write every day, until writing became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT writing.
Where else could I use a new default?
Choice inflection.