#429 Use whatever it takes
Willpower.
Habit.
Discipline.
Connection with your purpose.
Use whatever it takes to do what you know is important to you.
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#20 I’ve never tried that before, so…
ByLukasIn the series of unlikely life advice: a quote ascribed to Astrid Lindgren’s legendary character Pippi Longstocking.
I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6773397-i-have-never-tried-that-before-so-i-think-iOnly after reading this quote I realized how often we all hold the opposite belief: I have never tried that before, so I think I am not (and will never be) able to do that.
What a sad and disempowering belief.
Which begs the question…
Where are you disqualifying yourself before even trying it out first?
What would life be like if your default belief is that things you haven’t tried before are possible for you?
How would that change your decisions?
How much fear and frustration would you leave behind?
Might be worth journaling about.
#408 Come what may, you’ll be okay
ByLukasCome what may, you will be okay.
You can trust yourself.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Then go on with your day.
#214 Who’s in charge right now?
ByLukasHabit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.
I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.
The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.
The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.
The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.
The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.
So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?
Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?
It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.
And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?
So I invite you to give it a try.
Right here, right now: who’s in charge?
Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.
#105 This is how you make the future yours
ByLukasWhen it comes to habits, our actions in the present make future present moments more (or less) likely.
Do I journal today? That’s a vote for my journaling identity – which increases the likelihood of another journaling moment tomorrow. Predictive power.
Do I check Instagram today? That’s a vote for my Instagram-browsing identity – which increases the likelihood of another Instagram moment tomorrow. Predictive power.
Have I journaled 700 days in a row? I can say quite confidently I’ll journal again tomorrow. Massive predictive power.
So how do change the future?
Weaken the predictive power of one habit – stop taking the actions you want to change.
Strengthen the predictive power of a new habit – intentionally start taking different actions, and let every present moment be a vote for that new habit (and new identity).
The process is challenging and slow.
You’ll need patience.
Willpower to resist the pull of habits that have already accumulated tremendous predictive power.
You’ll need presence of mind and perseverance to choose new actions because you know they’re important to you.
It’s challenging. Slow. And worth it.
Because this is how you make the future yours.
#253 Outsourcing happiness
ByLukasWhen you outsource your happiness, you’ll always be under stress.
#209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap
ByLukasWanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.
But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.
Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.
When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.
And so the pressure mounts.
Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.
Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.
Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.
—
To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).
Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.
Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.
Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.
—
Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.
Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.
Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.
Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.