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  • #151 Habit hardliners vs Elastic Discipline

    If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?

    If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?

    If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?

    There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”

    After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.

    But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:

    Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.

    This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.

    So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.

    Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.

    After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?

    Skip a day, then start again.

    Build self-trust.

    Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.

    Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.

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    #156 Making the future just a little brighter

    A compelling vision of who I want to be doesn’t just guide my present actions and brings me toward a fulfilling future.

    It also helps me deal with the suffering that’s part of living in a complex physical body with a complex mind in a complex society in a complex, uncontrollable world.

    Because no matter how strong my vision or purpose is, and no matter what I do or say, inevitable hardship will happen anyway.

    So if I know why I’m doing what I do, why I’m going where I go, and why I’m becoming who I want to be, then hopefully, when life gets rough, I’ll react in a better way.

    I’ll trust myself to handle the unavoidable suffering.

    I’ll trust myself to minimize how much I add to the suffering.

    And that makes the future just a little bit brighter for me, everyone, and everything around me.

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    #8 Musenküsse

    klimt-the-kiss-musenkuss
    Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss (1907-1908).

    der Musenkuss (German) The kiss of the Muse

    Creativity becomes much easier if you see it as a game of finding new ways of describing what has always been there.

    Observing, rather than inventing.

    It’s liberating. Because now the game changes from pulling ideas out of thin air to a game of discovery. Observation. Paying attention. Building upon what’s already discovered, then connecting the dots in way nobody else has.

    Most of all: listening, when the muse finally arrives and visits you for a kiss.

    There’s this voice in my mind
    Impossible to ignore
    And yet I fill my head with noise
    Drowning out
    What deep down I know to be true
    Do I even want to admit
    That this song in my heart
    Is not about me
    But about you?

    P.S.: I’ve observed the same principle in language learning (and wrote a book about the consequences of this mindset shift).

    Which begs the question…

    Where else would we do better if we observed a bit more, rather than trying to invent from scratch?

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    #213 Comfortable dissatisfaction

    You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.

    You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.

    You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.


    Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.

    Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.

    But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.

    So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.

    And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.

    Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.

  • #462 Feel the resistance and move forward anyway

    There’s no need to get rid of excuses or resistance, because there’s no need to listen to the excuses and the resistance in the first place.

    They only have power when you give them power.

    And the less power you give them, the easier life becomes.

    So make up the excuses, then move forward anyway..

    Feel the resistance, then move forward anyway.

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    #102 When dreams turn into certainties

    Elon Musk has the rock-solid belief that someday, he’s going to put people on Mars. He doesn’t hope for it. He believes it’s inevitable.

    Whether his belief becomes a reality or not is irrelevant. What matters are the actions and grit his faith inspires in him and everyone working with him.

    That’s the rock-solid determination extraordinary feats are built on.

    But you don’t have to dream of interplanetary travel to reach stellar levels of determination.

    What would you do if writing a new book isn’t just optional or desirable but inevitable?

    What would you do if mastering an instrument isn’t just possible but inescapable?

    What happens when, in your mind, you turn a dream into a certainty?

    How does that change your actions? Mindset? Beliefs? Feelings?

    How much easier does it become to persevere?

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