#78 Unconscious categorization

ByLukas
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Within a split second, I’ve categorized an object as an apple. Now I don’t pay attention to the dimensions, color, smell, and texture anymore.

Within a split second, I’ve categorized an emotion as anger, fear, frustration, love. So I don’t pay attention to the physiological changes in my body anymore.

I’m always categorizing – but I didn’t consciously create the categories.

But what if I’m categorizing inaccurately?

Can I interrupt instant categorization, governed by language, habits, patterns, past experience?

Can I re-open my senses and see, smell, touch, hear, feel again?

Can I start sensing nuances between the objects I behold?

Can I discern nuances between the feelings I feel?

Mindfulness, journaling, meditation, and learning languages can help with more conscious categorization.

Because what if the anger I feel is nothing but fear?

What if the fear I feel is nothing but frustration?

What if the frustration I feel is nothing but unrequited love?

And what if the love I feel is nothing but infatuation?

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#225 Commitment comes first

ByLukas

When you decide if you should be chasing this goal, job, relationship, or place to live – in other words, commitment – you choose between action or inaction based on if it’s a viable, worthwhile, realistic goal.

When you decide on the course of action – in other words, how to do something – you’re already committed to action.

Sometimes, the commitment might be too big, too hard, or too disruptive – and that’s perfectly valid.

But here’s what I’ve noticed, my friend: whenever I try to decide on the how before I’ve decided on the commitment, I have even more doubts, and any course of action seems complicated.

I’m curious how you feel about it. We’ll talk more about it in the coming days and weeks.

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#24 Put your actions where your mouth is

ByLukas

Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

And that’s how we get out of a rut.

(The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

  1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
    “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
  2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
    “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
  3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
    This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
    So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
  4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

Which begs the question…

Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

Lukas Van Vyve

Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

#12 Back on track – discipline vs regret

ByLukas

Almost broke the chain today.

Then I remembered:

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

Jim Rohn

Nothing builds more trust than daily practice, back to back.

Today, remembering that is more than enough.

I’m back on track.

#331 Building habits the lazy way

ByLukas

Some people think they can’t build habits because they’re lazy.

Maybe we all are – so we might as well make laziness the key to building habits.

I write only one short daily post because I know I won’t stick to writing long-form posts – and when I feel like writing long-form, it doesn’t feel like an obligation but a treat. Laziness built the writing habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I write more.

I do 5-minute daily meditations because I know I won’t stick to 30-minute meditation as a habit – yet when I DO meditate for 30 minutes, it feels like a treat. Laziness built the meditation habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I meditate more.

If you are so sure you won’t stick to anything overly ambitious, what’s the laziest way you could implement a behavior change? Can you use that as your starting point to build life-changing habits?

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