#182 Uncertain future visions

Not all tasks and activities we must do feel fulfilling or rewarding. There’s no way out of busy work.

But we can avoid prioritizing and attracting it to the expense of work that matters.

Enter the hour of misery.

One hour of busy work and chores a day.

60 minutes. Not more. But also not less.

If, after 60 minutes of misery, you feel like you should do much more, it’s time to realign priorities.

Delegate.

OR come to terms with the fact that you’ll never finish the pile of busy work tasks – then carry on with the important stuff anyway.

After all, tomorrow’s another day.

We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.

If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.

If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.

If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.

If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.

If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.

Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.

Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.

Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?

Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

So I invite you to give it a try.

Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

A compelling vision of who I want to be doesn’t just guide my present actions and brings me toward a fulfilling future.

It also helps me deal with the suffering that’s part of living in a complex physical body with a complex mind in a complex society in a complex, uncontrollable world.

Because no matter how strong my vision or purpose is, and no matter what I do or say, inevitable hardship will happen anyway.

So if I know why I’m doing what I do, why I’m going where I go, and why I’m becoming who I want to be, then hopefully, when life gets rough, I’ll react in a better way.

I’ll trust myself to handle the unavoidable suffering.

I’ll trust myself to minimize how much I add to the suffering.

And that makes the future just a little bit brighter for me, everyone, and everything around me.

When you know you have crazy work days, build a simple base to come home to.

A serene home environment. A calming evening ritual. A nourishing hobby.

A sanctuary amidst the turmoil.

Because only when you can fully turn it off, can you fully turn it on without burning out.