Create something or not. Today is still happening.
Learn something or not. Today is still happening.
Relax or not. Today is still happening.
Spend time with your loved ones or not. Today is still happening.
No matter how you feel, no matter what you do, today is still happening.
That may be scary, defeating, or motivating. But today is still happening.
You’re not embarking on a new journey, you’re already on the journey.
And while embarking on the journey wasn’t your choice.
Today, you have a say.
Not about everything.
But about enough to add some more intention and direction.
Tiny Trust Builders.
At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.
If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.
Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?
I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.
I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.
And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)
If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.
The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.
Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.
I am inspired when I write, because I care about writing.
I am disappointed when I don’t write, because I care about writing.
I am delighted when there are no traffic jams, because I care about efficiency.
I am frustrated when the train is delayed, because I care about efficiency.
Strong emotions are the most honest answer to the question, “Do I care?”
”But should I care?” I hear you ask.
Well, my friend, that’s a different question.
Some people think they can’t build habits because they’re lazy.
Maybe we all are – so we might as well make laziness the key to building habits.
I write only one short daily post because I know I won’t stick to writing long-form posts – and when I feel like writing long-form, it doesn’t feel like an obligation but a treat. Laziness built the writing habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I write more.
I do 5-minute daily meditations because I know I won’t stick to 30-minute meditation as a habit – yet when I DO meditate for 30 minutes, it feels like a treat. Laziness built the meditation habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I meditate more.
If you are so sure you won’t stick to anything overly ambitious, what’s the laziest way you could implement a behavior change? Can you use that as your starting point to build life-changing habits?
Goals make you write every day and enjoy the process, even if you’ll never publish a book.
Goals make you practice yoga and get to know your body, even if you’ll never be able to be in that ultimate pose.
Goals makes you help someone and learn to give and contribute, even if your help ultimately doesn’t get them to the place they wanted to go.
Goals don’t predict outcomes. Because the purpose of a goal is not to achieve it, but to set the direction of your life.
It gives you the fuel to start taking action, and the guidance to make sure that action is intentional.
I don’t know about you, my friend, but to me, that’s a fulfilling thought.
In all his life Picasso produced about 147,800 pieces, consisting of: 13,500 paintings, 100,000 prints and engravings, 300 sculptures and ceramics and 34,000 illustrations – an impressive 78-year career.
https://www.pablopicasso.org/picasso-facts.jsp
13,500 paintings; that’s almost 37 years of producing a painting, every single day.
How good would you be if you had painted daily for 37 years?
Maybe still not as good as Picasso. Or maybe better. Hard to tell, because while many people might be born with talent, few people have the discipline to combine it with that level of discipline.
