#143 Tipping the scale

ByLukas
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A voice in my head says I can’t write every day?

I’ll write 2 sentences every day, just to prove to that voice that I, in fact, CAN write every day.

A voice in my head says I don’t have the perseverance to train for (and then finish) a marathon?

I’ll do something small to prepare for the marathon every day, so at the end of each day, I can say to myself “The proof is there, today was another day of me persevering and preparing for a marathon.”

You can’t brute-force your way out of an “I can’t do this” belief. You can only take small actions that start proving the contrary.

Slowly but surely, you chip away at the credibility of the naysayer voice, until the scale starts tipping over, and an encouraging voice emerges.

Tiny trust builders.

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    #192 Your desired identity

    ByLukas

    Who you are and what you do consistently always coincide. After all, your repeated actions create your identity.

    But who you want to be and what you consistently do don’t usually coincide. Otherwise, you would already have become who you want to be.

    You want to be a writer, but you’re not consistently writing? Writing consistently will bridge the gap between your current and desired identity.

    You want to be a guitar player, but you’re not consistently playing the guitar? Practicing daily will bridge the gap between your current and desired identity.

    Could you make your actions coincide with your desired identity?

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    #261 A simple way to train your intuition

    ByLukas

    Acting on the first hunch is a powerful move.

    After all, hunches have their basis in our subconscious insights and intuitive understanding.

    While they may not always lead us to the expected outcome, they invariably lead us to swift action and learning.

    Either you’re right and you saved time.

    Or you’re wrong so you can course correct, still saving you time.

    So drink on the first sign of thirst.

    Write on the first sign of an insight.

    Make your choice on the first sign of a preference.

    If it turns out bad, learn and change.

    That’s how you train your intuition – not by distrusting it, but by using and honing it.

    You already know how to do this.

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    #255 The method to your madness

    ByLukas

    Most people don’t see why you’re taking time out of your busy day to sit down and write until the book you were working on every day lies in front of them.

    They don’t see why you run every day and eat clean until you set a personal best at the next marathon.

    They don’t see the new product you’re working on until it’s developed so far that it helps them achieve their goals.

    You’re the only one who sees the method to your madness.

    And that’s fine.

    Because you probably don’t see the method to their madness either.

  • #330 You only need one

    ByLukas

    You only need to stick to one new habit to prove to yourself that you can change.

    One habit. One small activity. One Teeny Tiny Trust Builder where you don’t give up, but stay on track.

    Why would you make this hard on yourself?

    Write one sentence a day.

    Learn one word a day.

    Meditate for 1 minute.

    Make it ridiculously small if you want.

    But stick with it.

    Stick with it on day one. And the next day. And the next. And also on the day when the universe seems to conspire against you.

    Stick with it, because that one silly little activity can be the start of a changed life.

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    #24 Put your actions where your mouth is

    ByLukas

    Here’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

    Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

    https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020

    Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.

    Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.

    As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.

    And that’s how we get out of a rut.

    (The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)

    Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:

    1. First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
      “I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.”
    2. Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
      “Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session.
    3. Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
      This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
      So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots.
    4. At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.

    Which begs the question…

    Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?

    Lukas Van Vyve

    Put your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.

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