#143 Tipping the scale

ByLukas
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A voice in my head says I can’t write every day?

I’ll write 2 sentences every day, just to prove to that voice that I, in fact, CAN write every day.

A voice in my head says I don’t have the perseverance to train for (and then finish) a marathon?

I’ll do something small to prepare for the marathon every day, so at the end of each day, I can say to myself “The proof is there, today was another day of me persevering and preparing for a marathon.”

You can’t brute-force your way out of an “I can’t do this” belief. You can only take small actions that start proving the contrary.

Slowly but surely, you chip away at the credibility of the naysayer voice, until the scale starts tipping over, and an encouraging voice emerges.

Tiny trust builders.

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    #78 Unconscious categorization

    ByLukas

    Within a split second, I’ve categorized an object as an apple. Now I don’t pay attention to the dimensions, color, smell, and texture anymore.

    Within a split second, I’ve categorized an emotion as anger, fear, frustration, love. So I don’t pay attention to the physiological changes in my body anymore.

    I’m always categorizing – but I didn’t consciously create the categories.

    But what if I’m categorizing inaccurately?

    Can I interrupt instant categorization, governed by language, habits, patterns, past experience?

    Can I re-open my senses and see, smell, touch, hear, feel again?

    Can I start sensing nuances between the objects I behold?

    Can I discern nuances between the feelings I feel?

    Mindfulness, journaling, meditation, and learning languages can help with more conscious categorization.

    Because what if the anger I feel is nothing but fear?

    What if the fear I feel is nothing but frustration?

    What if the frustration I feel is nothing but unrequited love?

    And what if the love I feel is nothing but infatuation?

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    #88 I write every day to understand what I want to say

    ByLukas

    I basically write the same song over and over, but they’re just verses of this one really long one. I’m trying to figure it out.

    The Tallest Man on Earth

    I write every day so I start to understand what I really want to say.

    I don’t usually get it right on the first try; maybe I’m not even getting close after 100 iterations.

    And that’s fine.

    There probably won’t be one post that captures it all.

    Maybe understanding emerges from whole of the 100 iterations instead?

    Sculpting away, day by day.

  • #209 Self-improvement gap and a pressure trap

    ByLukas

    Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

    But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

    Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

    When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

    And so the pressure mounts.

    Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

    Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

    Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

    —

    To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

    Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

    Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

    Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

    —

    Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

    Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

    Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

    Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

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