#114 Tiny Trust Builders

ByLukas
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Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).

Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.

There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.

I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.

I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.

I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.

Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.

Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.

So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.

The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.

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    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    ByLukas

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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    #197 Reminders upon reminders upon reminders

    ByLukas

    Intentional living is about reminding yourself of what’s most important to you.

    Reminding yourself that you can choose to be a writer, a runner, a musician, an artist, or a bon vivant.

    Reminding yourself that you can choose to be kind to others.

    Reminding yourself that you have a choice to act differently.

    Reminding yourself that the past does not equal the future.

    Reminding yourself that this, too, shall pass.

    Reminding yourself that at any given moment, whatever reminder you need the most, you likely won’t think of yourself.

    Reminding yourself that for this reason, it’s OK to get help and let someone else remind you with short daily notes.

    And me, reminding myself that the act of writing daily reminders for you is the reminder I need to remember that I do, in fact, choose to be consistent, and I choose to be a writer.

    Reminders upon reminders upon reminders that we will constantly get distracted, and we will always have the choice to come back to what truly matters.

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