#104 This is not a poker game

ByLukas
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All in on getting fluent in a foreign language?
That’s a 6-12 month game, at the minimum.

All in on learning an instrument?
Count on a multi-year (or multi-decade) game.

All-in on getting in shape?
That’s a life-long game.

This is not a poker game. You’re not trying to impress anyone. There are no opponents to deter. Not everything hinges on one big moment where you can win or lose it all.

You’re not only all in the moment you decide you’re all-in. You’re all in for the entire journey. That means: making your efforts, resources, and motivation last.

All in means preparing for the long game.

Choosing small daily habits over grand gestures.

Choosing consistency over completion.

Accepting that whatever you go all in on will inevitably change your identity.

Now you’re all in on life, and who you aspire to be.

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#17 Humming my way to innovative insights

ByLukas

In his book “The Breakout Principle“, Harvard Medical School professor Herbert Benson asserts that most of our big epiphanies and insights are preceded by:

  1. A phase of strong mental and physical exertion
  2. A phase of relaxation, where you release the mind and let it roam freely.

Benson discovered that the phase of relaxation seems to be accompanied by the release of nitric oxide (NO), a powerful neurotransmitter.

Among other things, nitric oxide improves cellular oxygen uptake, is a vasodilator and muscle relaxer, and improves cardiovascular health.

Benson goes as far as saying nitric oxide may be “the biochemical foundation for the relaxation response” and the catalyst for the “breakout” (= the insight or epiphany).

When I read about Nitric Oxide in Benson’s book, I realized I had heard about Nitric Oxide in a different context (the Where Else Principle at work): pranayama, a yogic breathing practice. In his book The Illuminated Breath, Yoga teacher Dylan Werner mentions the same health benefits of nitric oxide, and adds that it’s made in the lining of the blood vessels, nasal cavity, and in the paranasal sinus.

He also mentions we can increase production of nitric oxide by breathing slowly through the nose (so there’s more air exchange in the sinuses and nasal cavity).

What’s more: a certain type of yogic breathing, bhramari pranayama or humming bee breath, can increase the production of nitric oxide fifteen fold because it increases the air vibration, and thus air exchange in the sinuses and nasal cavity.

That’s right: fifteen times more nitric oxide from a simple humming breath practice.

Seems like my daily bhramari pranayama practice is the perfect way to relax the body, the, mind, and create the perfect conditions for those new insights to emerge.

That’s why I am sculpting away, day by day, humming my way through life… and the insights always seem to follow.

Now I know why.

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#69 Evening Questions

ByLukas

I like to journal in the morning.

But if I’d journal in the evening, this is what I’d ask myself:

“Were my actions today actions of the person I choose to be? Or were they actions of a person driven by old patterns, habits and limiting beliefs?”

“Did my actions bring me closer to where I choose to go? Or did they keep me stuck in a place I really don’t want to be anymore?”

“Did my actions make me feel good about myself? Or did they make me resent myself?”

What can I do differently tomorrow?

#151 Habit hardliners vs Elastic Discipline

ByLukas

If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?

If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?

If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?

There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”

After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.

But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:

Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.

This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.

So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.

Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.

After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?

Skip a day, then start again.

Build self-trust.

Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.

Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.

#9 Striking gold

ByLukas

I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
I write, re-write
and never am I satisfied.

I get closer, or so I think
And then the next day, I jump back in
and instantly sink.

I need answers…
Even though deep down I know,
the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

Yet, I have to try.

Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

How? I don’t know.

When? I don’t know.

Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

Anyway.

Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
and write in peace.

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#313 Keep it Achievable, Pleasurable, Sustainable

ByLukas

I’ve been publishing daily posts for 300+ days now.

The secret?

Writing less.

  • I don’t want to spend hours writing daily posts, so I keep them short.

  • I don’t want to drag myself to a 4-day writing session to create all posts for the coming week in advance (then not write for the rest of the week)

  • I don’t want to set writing goals that are painful to reach and make me feel burnt out.

  • I do want to write a little bit every day, so I prove to myself every single day that I’m a writer.

  • I do want to feel that writing that daily post is achievable and fun.

  • I do want to build momentum.

Keep it achievable. Keep it pleasurable. Keep it sustainable.

In other words: Tiny Trust Builders.

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#132 Unlimited Learning

ByLukas

Learning often implies discovering what you can’t do.

I can’t write and convey what I want to say. I can’t speak Spanish fluently. I can’t do this yoga pose.

For many people that’s also the final destination, when in fact, it’s only the start.

We’re missing a word: Learning is discovering what you can’t do yet.

Or, even better:

Learning is discovering what, through diligent practice, you’ll soon be able to do.

After all, actions overrule thoughts.

I can’t write and find the right words… yet. But with diligent practice, soon, I’ll be able to convey what I want to say.

I’m not able to do this yoga pose… yet. But with diligent practice, soon I will.

I can’t speak Spanish fluently… yet. But with diligent practice, soon I will.

That’s all there is to it.

Discover your current limit. Realize that through diligent practice, you’ll overcome it.

Then you’ll find a new limit. And through diligent practice, you’ll overcome it.

Until you find a new limit, which you’ll overcome… through diligent practice.

Where do you let the discovery of your current limit be your end station?

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