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  • #474 You’ll always be exposed

    You can’t reach great successes without exposing yourself to spectacular failure.

    You can’t feel amazing without exposing yourself to a downfall.

    You can’t feel great love without exposing yourself to a broken heart.

    You can’t explore the world without exposing yourself to getting lost.

    And what’s more: you won’t be able to fully appreciate the good things in life without having been exposed to the challenging things.

  • #151 Habit hardliners vs Elastic Discipline

    If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?

    If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?

    If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?

    There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”

    After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.

    But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:

    Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.

    This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.

    So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.

    Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.

    After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?

    Skip a day, then start again.

    Build self-trust.

    Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.

    Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.

  • #422 Today is still happening

    Create something or not. Today is still happening.

    Learn something or not. Today is still happening.

    Relax or not. Today is still happening.

    Spend time with your loved ones or not. Today is still happening.

    No matter how you feel, no matter what you do, today is still happening.

    That may be scary, defeating, or motivating. But today is still happening.

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    #89 Don’t get it backwards

    I’m not writing because I can’t write?
    I’m not playing the guitar because I’m bad at music?
    I’m not learning a language because I’m bad at learning languages?

    That’s the world on its head.

    The truth is: you can’t write because you’re not writing.
    You can’t play the guitar because you’re not playing the guitar.
    You can’t speak the language because you’re not learning the language.

    If you would write every day, cognitive dissonance starts doing its work. Your actions will overrule your thoughts and beliefs.

    And every day you write, you’re becoming a writer.

    Every day you play the guitar, you’re becoming a guitar player.

    Every day you learn a language, you’re becoming a language learner.

    The only reason you can’t do it because you’re not doing it.

    Don’t get it backwards.

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    #214 Who’s in charge right now?

    Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

    I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

    The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

    The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

    The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

    The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

    So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

    Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

    It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

    And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

    So I invite you to give it a try.

    Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

    Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

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    #223 Maybe this finally makes it click

    “Don’t you ever run out of ways to write a letter every day on the same topic?” I imagine you ask me.

    In fact, I don’t have to imagine it. I have been asked this question many a time. Not in the least by myself.

    Yet here we are, over 200 days in, and I’ve learned that there are many more ways to say the same thing than I ever thought possible.

    What’s more: I’ve learned that they’re all equally important.

    Because today’s letter could be what finally makes it click for you.
    Because today’s letter could be what finally makes it click for me.
    Because today’s letter invalidates my scarcity beliefs around idea generation – after all, if I can come up with a new letter every day for 200+ days, where else do I mistakenly believe I’ll run out of ideas, opportunities, or possibilities?

    And, of course, because today’s letter is my personal Tiny Trust Builder.

    So for as long as I can, for as long as I need it, and for as long as I believe YOU need it, you’ll receive a letter every day.

    That’s right: every day, more wordplay
    finding a thousand ways to say
    that no matter what comes your way
    only your self-trust is here to stay.

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