#218 The United States of “If I wanted, I could”

ByLukas
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The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant. 

Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.

Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?

Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?

Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?

Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?

I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization. 

Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.

But even if they were, it doesn’t matter. 

Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.

Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”

Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.

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  • #27 Appreciating the meaningless melody of a foreign language

    ByLukas

    Learning a foreign language is both a frustrating and liberating experience.

    We can focus on the frustration of not understanding the words the way we understand our mother tongue. Or we can realize that without the words, we are free to fall back on other ways of capturing and understanding meaning.

    A crying baby can be soothed by words it does not yet understand, because she senses what’s behind the sounds, lets the meaningless melody cradle her to sleep…

    Similarly, we don’t always have to know what’s behind the words, as long as we make an effort to understand the meaning behind the sounds.

    Hearing a foreign language brings us back to that wordless world the way we experienced it as a newborn, before we tried so hard to put everything within and around us into language.

    It makes us remember, there’s more to life than our words will ever allow us to express. And somehow, that’s a soothing thought.

  • |

    #19 The first time feels funny, the fiftieth time you fly

    ByLukas

    In a podcast segment about practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu,Tim Ferris and Joshua Waitzkin discuss a principle for managing expectations they call:

    “The first rep doesn’t count.”

    Tim Ferris, Josh Waitzkin: https://tim.blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/148-josh-waitzkin.pdf

    In other words: when performing a move for the first time, your body and mind need to get used to it. Gradually,you’ll get better – and the more aware you are of your body, the faster you’ll make progress – but judging someone on their first attempt doesn’t say much about their future potential.

    This holds true for many skills in life, like starting a daily publishing habit.

    Publishing a post or a video for the first time always feels funny (and often frightening). At this stage, judgment or feedback is futile. It’s all about jumping the hurdle of getting started

    Publish five times, you’re ready to get some feedback (both from yourself and from others)…

    Publish for the fiftieth time, and you’re well on your way to turn it into a habit… and fly.

    So whenever I start something new, I manage my expectations by repeating to myself:

    The first time feels funny. The fiftieth time I fly.

    And for bonus points: What would it feel like the 500th time?

  • | |

    #47 Are we all just animal?

    ByLukas

    The scientific revolution has left a god-shaped hole in our heart
    but where do we find purpose, when we think we are so smart?

    with all our might
    we try to unhide
    what’s out of sight

    we fight to forge a light as bright
    as the one that once brought life

    without knowing the path that’s right
    we rush to reach new heights
    in spite
    of the world we feel inside

    until the wind brings a storm
    the earth shakes
    shatters our home
    rivers overflow
    fire burns our flesh
    then where do we go?

    when we know that with every ploy
    to make the world adhere
    we also destroy
    what we hold dear

    with actions this flawed
    can we really pretend we are god
    or are we all
    just animal?

    Lukas Van Vyve
  • |

    #243 Mending the Misunderstanding

    ByLukas

    We all live in a maze of mistranslations and misunderstandings about who we think you are and who others think we are.

    Now, by lack of a way to know who we truly are, misunderstandings can be comforting, my friend; there’s no doubt about that.

    But when you get so lost in the maze that it causes suffering, it might be time to start mending the misunderstandings.

    Could it be that mending is nothing more than making another mistranslation about who we are that makes us happier?

    After all, I can perceive myself as a struggling writer or a skilled wordsmith – both perspectives hold their truths.

    It’s the power of our misunderstandings that molds our reality.

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