#108 The Unexpected Complement

ByLukas
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Unique value often lies in seemingly strange combinations.

The beekeeping lawyer.

The pro soccer player with an astrophysics degree.

The theologist waking up early every morning to go surfing.

The public servant spending their evenings performing at the local stand-up comedy bar.

The motorcycle repair shop owner writing philosophy books.

The chess champion with a Brazilian Ju-Jitsu black belt.

Societal pressure and expectations make such combinations unlikely. Out of the ordinary. Maybe even undesirable: an obstacle to conformity.

And if it’s undesirable, it becomes rare.

And here’s the twist: what’s rare usually becomes valuable.

Because there’s nothing incompatible about these combinations – in fact, the skills you practice may well complement each other in unique and valuable ways.

What could be an unexpected complement for your life?

Something you’re secretly interested in, but – according to society – doesn’t fit who you are (or who you’re supposed to be)?

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    #243 Mending the Misunderstanding

    ByLukas

    We all live in a maze of mistranslations and misunderstandings about who we think you are and who others think we are.

    Now, by lack of a way to know who we truly are, misunderstandings can be comforting, my friend; there’s no doubt about that.

    But when you get so lost in the maze that it causes suffering, it might be time to start mending the misunderstandings.

    Could it be that mending is nothing more than making another mistranslation about who we are that makes us happier?

    After all, I can perceive myself as a struggling writer or a skilled wordsmith – both perspectives hold their truths.

    It’s the power of our misunderstandings that molds our reality.

  • #151 Habit hardliners vs Elastic Discipline

    ByLukas

    If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?

    If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?

    If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?

    There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”

    After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.

    But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:

    Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.

    This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.

    So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.

    Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.

    After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?

    Skip a day, then start again.

    Build self-trust.

    Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.

    Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.

  • #153 When most of the learning is lost on us.

    ByLukas

    Playing the guitar hasn’t taught me to move my hands and fingers across strings. It has taught me to persevere whenever I’m failing over and over again until suddenly, it all clicks and the words, music, or movements flow.

    Yoga hasn’t taught me to put my body in awkward poses. It has taught me to be aware of – and release – the tension in my body whenever I sit, walk, stand, and run.

    Taking cold showers hasn’t taught me to withstand cold water. It has taught me to know to relax whenever my body tenses up in stress and my heart starts racing.

    Learning a foreign language hasn’t taught me to say the same things with different words. It has taught me that there are different ways of perceiving the wordless world around me, and expressing what I feel inside.

    When we isolate insights, most of the learning is lost on us.

    Learn thematically. Ask yourself, “Where else does this apply?”

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