#92 The true purpose of memory

ByLukas
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Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

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    #173 Are errors truly errors?

    ByLukas

    I can believe I’ve published the perfect insight – until I narrate the podcast version a couple of weeks later and suddenly notice subtle typos and, sometimes, logical flaws. The typos and flaws were always there – but did I make a mistake earlier? 

    I can believe I’ve nailed this yoga pose – until, during one session, I suddenly sense some tension in my neck I had never noticed before. The tension was always there – did I make a mistake earlier? 

    I can believe I’ve cooked the perfect dish – until one day, I notice that the sauce tastes even better with a little less salt. But, even before I noticed it, the improvement was always there – did I make a mistake earlier?

    Maybe learning is not about errors but about gaining ever more subtle awareness.

  • #383 A counterintuitive approach to skill building

    ByLukas

    With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

    1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

    Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

    Why is this important to you?

    What do you stand to gain?

    Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

    (❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

    2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

    In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

    Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

    Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

    Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

    This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

    But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

    3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

    Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

    👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
    👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

    Bottom line:

    Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

    It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

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    #104 This is not a poker game

    ByLukas

    All in on getting fluent in a foreign language?
    That’s a 6-12 month game, at the minimum.

    All in on learning an instrument?
    Count on a multi-year (or multi-decade) game.

    All-in on getting in shape?
    That’s a life-long game.

    This is not a poker game. You’re not trying to impress anyone. There are no opponents to deter. Not everything hinges on one big moment where you can win or lose it all.

    You’re not only all in the moment you decide you’re all-in. You’re all in for the entire journey. That means: making your efforts, resources, and motivation last.

    All in means preparing for the long game.

    Choosing small daily habits over grand gestures.

    Choosing consistency over completion.

    Accepting that whatever you go all in on will inevitably change your identity.

    Now you’re all in on life, and who you aspire to be.

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    #21 Action Defies Excuses (day 20 update)

    ByLukas

    Day 20 of my daily publishing experiment. What I’ve learned (or remembered) so far:

    • Self-trust is built by taking action. On some days I woke up stressed out, thinking “I have no clue what I’ll post about today”. But then I start writing, and the post reveals itself on the page every single time. After experiencing that several times, the fear of posting (or not being able to write anything) is fading away. In other words: action defies excuses.
    • Starting to journal (Morning Pages) over 600 days ago led to an explosion in creativity. Starting to publish a daily insight is giving me a similar boost.
    • In the past, I leaned towards bigger, longer writing projects that required a lot of energy and thinking before I produced something “valuable”. I now see there’s power in consistently writing short posts about ideas and insights, no matter how insignificant and no matter how imperfect the writing. Because through the writing, I understand them better. I remember them better. And I’m confident that over time, from all these small insights, bigger ideas will emerge.

    In short, a pattern I’ve observed many time in the past years is playing out again:

    When I start defying my own excuses by taking action, no matter how small, my self-trust grows, my self-image shifts, and I become more of the person I want to be.

    Which begs the question:

    Where else am I frustrated, holding on to a static identity of the past that I could prove wrong by taking action?

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    #242 The accomplishments that slipped away

    ByLukas

    Over the years, I’ve become quite skilled at letting present worries overshadow past triumphs.

    But what would it be like to let past triumphs overshadow present worries?

    And what would it be like to have present triumphs overshadow past worries?

    Maybe you know better than me, my friend. Or maybe it’s something you’d like to practice too.

    Here’s a journal prompt to get us started:

    What’s a forgotten accomplishment from your past that once filled you with pride but has since slipped away from your thoughts?

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