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    #44 Choices

    I can write today, resent myself for not writing… or stop caring at all about writing.

    I can publish a blog post today, resent myself for not posting, or stop caring at all about blog posts.

    Taking action on something I care about is a valid choice.

    Stopping to care about taking a certain action is an equally valid choice.

    Resenting myself for not taking an action I care about… that’s a choice for self-torture.

    Put your actions where your mouth is.

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    #134 Losing makes you a loser – and that’s fine

    You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.

    But you CAN:

    • stop caring about winning and losing in the first place; or
    • change your definition of winning and losing so winning becomes easier, and losing harder.

    What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?

    What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?

    What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?

    Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.

  • #20 I’ve never tried that before, so…

    In the series of unlikely life advice: a quote ascribed to Astrid Lindgren’s legendary character Pippi Longstocking.

    I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.

    https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6773397-i-have-never-tried-that-before-so-i-think-i

    Only after reading this quote I realized how often we all hold the opposite belief: I have never tried that before, so I think I am not (and will never be) able to do that.

    What a sad and disempowering belief.

    Which begs the question…

    Where are you disqualifying yourself before even trying it out first?

    What would life be like if your default belief is that things you haven’t tried before are possible for you?

    How would that change your decisions?

    How much fear and frustration would you leave behind?

    Might be worth journaling about.

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    #129 When the going gets tough

    When I’m inspired, I write.

    When I’m over the moon, I write.

    When I’m frustrated, I write.

    When I’m sad, I write.

    When I’m angry, I write.

    When I’m so overwhelmed I don’t want to do anything at all, I write.

    Because when the tides of life get rough, a consistent practice is your life raft.


    Writing, running, yoga, music, walking, gardening, knitting, dancing, singing, surfing…

    You not only build trust in such habits and practices to achieve lofty goals but also – even more so – to fall back on when the going gets tough, and you need a beacon of stability to keep you afloat.

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    #114 Tiny Trust Builders

    Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).

    Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.

    There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.

    I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.

    I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.

    I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.

    Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.

    Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.

    So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.

    The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.

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