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    #229 What are you striving for?

    Am I running to get in better shape or to get distracting thoughts out of my head?

    Am I going out to enjoy being with friends or to forget my worries?

    Am I writing to grow an audience or to process my own emotions?

    What am I striving for?

    Your answers may vary from day to day. There are no right or wrong answers anyway.

    But that doesn’t mean it isn’t useful to understand why you behave the way you do.

    Maybe it even makes you curious about why others behave the way they do, too.

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    #314 You don’t need to see progress every day

    In the moment, I don’t feel like a yoga pose comes easy to me – until I look back to how it felt 6 months ago.

    In the moment, I don’t really feel like particularly good writer – until I look back on how hard it was to write these daily insights a year ago.

    You don’t need to see progress every single day to know that you’re getting better.

    Because the things that truly matter often change so slowly that you don’t notice them… unless you take the time to reflect on them.

    Changes too small to notice today become impossible to ignore when they stack up.

  • #381 Why you should make habits doable and frequent

    The more frequent and the less intrusive the habit, the easier it is to stick to.

    Commit to writing for an hour once week? You’ll find a million reasons to procrastinate until the very last moment, on Sunday night, to write.

    Commit to writing for 5 minutes once a day? The timeline is so short, there are no more excuses.

    Make it doable. Make it frequent. And suddenly every habit is within reach.

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    #29 The myth of self-sabotage

    All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.

    So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.

    In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.

    Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.

    Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.

    Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).

    Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.

    If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?

    Or even better than just asking: journal about it.

  • #234 Fighting novelty

    A new phone out of necessity – because the old one broke.
    A new phone out of longing for the rush of something new.

    A new business idea because changing circumstances have rendered the old business model unviable.
    A new business idea because the previous one is progressing slower than I expected, and I’m getting bored.

    There are many reasons to embrace novelty. And there are just as many reasons to fight it.

    Both are fine, as long as you know what’s driving you.

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