#68 The sitcom comparison

ByLukas
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Watching a sitcom or soap opera episode takes 20 minutes – and somehow, we always seem to find time for it.

Doing some stretches or a quick workout can take as little as 15 minutes – yet somehow, it’s very hard to find time for it.

Many good habits take take less time than watching a sitcom – and during and after, they’re often quite enjoyable. But our mind makes it so hard to start.

Whenever something that’s good for you feels insurmountable and your mind starts playing tricks on you, put it into perspective.

Doing this thing will take less time than watching a sitcom.

Maybe I could even do it while watching the sitcom.

And doing it will be a vote for the person I want to become.

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  • #474 You’ll always be exposed

    ByLukas

    You can’t reach great successes without exposing yourself to spectacular failure.

    You can’t feel amazing without exposing yourself to a downfall.

    You can’t feel great love without exposing yourself to a broken heart.

    You can’t explore the world without exposing yourself to getting lost.

    And what’s more: you won’t be able to fully appreciate the good things in life without having been exposed to the challenging things.

  • | |

    #44 Choices

    ByLukas

    I can write today, resent myself for not writing… or stop caring at all about writing.

    I can publish a blog post today, resent myself for not posting, or stop caring at all about blog posts.

    Taking action on something I care about is a valid choice.

    Stopping to care about taking a certain action is an equally valid choice.

    Resenting myself for not taking an action I care about… that’s a choice for self-torture.

    Put your actions where your mouth is.

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    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    ByLukas

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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    #128 What do you hear?

    ByLukas

    Nobody says you should take time every day to disconnect from the world and listen to your stream of consciousness.

    But let’s say you would.

    What do you hear?

    Desires? Fear?

    A blurry memory, now suddenly clear?

    A cry for help to which you’ve turned a deaf ear?

    That fierce inner voice just wants you to be, listen, persevere,
    and tell it

    You’re safe. I hear you. I’m here.

    When you make space to listen to yourself and let solitude soothe you, fear melts away and you might just find something that makes you want to put your heart on the line.

  • #231 When everything is urgent

    ByLukas

    When everything is urgent, how do we know what to do first?

    One solution is adding more nuance:

    What’s the most urgent?

    What’s the most important?

    Breathing is urgent.

    A crying child is urgent.

    A toilet visit can be urgent.

    Sending that email out tonight right before bed instead of tomorrow, maybe not so much?

    Here’s the important question:

    If you’re going to prioritize the urgent matters anyway, why stress yourself out by calling everything urgent in the first place?

    Making everything urgent devalues truly urgent matters.

    Because when everything is urgent, nothing is urgent anymore.

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