#65 The Secret to Sticking to Your Habits

ByLukas
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I don’t wake up every day in love with the prospect of writing a blog post.

But I do love that part of my identity is that I publish something every day.

By not publishing, I would lose that part of my identity and end up frustrated because I gave up something I enjoy. And that’s painful.

So I write.

The secret to sticking to your habits: make the pain of quitting bigger than the pain of getting over the resistance against doing what you know is good for you.

Because the pain of discipline is always easier to bear than the pain of regret.

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    #105 The Fulfillment Formula

    ByLukas

    My sense of fulfillment comes from taking daily actions that are aligned with a personal philosophy and a purpose I intentionally determine.

    As life unfolds, my purpose can change. My values can change. I can feel over the moon, dreadful, and everything in between.

    My daily actions can change (and they certainly won’t always be aligned with my personal philosophy).

    But the fulfillment formula always stays the same.

    Are the majority of my daily actions in alignment with my purpose, values, and the identity I want to forge?

    A consequence of this formula: Without clear purpose, without consciously choosing values or designing a personal philosophy, without knowing what you stand for and who you choose to be, it’s hard to feel fulfilled.

    In short: intentional, aligned, disciplined living and identity building helps to feel fulfilled.

  • #388 The one tiny thing you should do today

    ByLukas

    What’s one tiny thing you can do every day that proves to yourself that your goals are important to you?

    One tiny action you can take even on the worst days when you’re sick, your car breaks down, or you have a crazy busy day?

    One tiny action that, if done every day, will transform your identity?

    One Tiny Trust Builder that shows: “This is what I stand for, who I am, and who I want to be.”

    Decide on it. Stick to it. And as your self-trust grows… be happier for it.

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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    ByLukas

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”

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