#364 The only way to innovate
Experience can make you better at performing an activity but also blind you from what you could do differently (and better).
Sometimes, the only way to innovate, see, and be free, is to take your experience goggles off.
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#240 It’s not about you. It’s not about me.
ByLukasMost people are kind at heart and would be happy to help you – and other people – out all the time if only, you know, just like you, they didn’t have a life of their own full of obligations, dreams, passions, and worries. In other words, a life that doesn’t entirely revolve around being at your service.
I don’t know if that always holds for everyone, my friend. And it’s not a free pass for selfishness or treating others poorly.
But I do like to believe it’s mainly a mental bandwidth challenge and that deep down, people always want to help.
Because it makes me more understanding and empathetic. For other people’s behavior and my own.
After all, it’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about us all.
#98 The Socializing-Solitude Alternation
ByLukasAppreciation arises from contrast.
How can I enjoy food without knowing what it’s like to be hungry?
How can I appreciate the beauty of a painting without comparing it to something I’ve experienced as ugly?
How can I appreciate social connections without being familiar with solitude? (Not loneliness. Solitude.)
Constant connectivity (especially shallow connections through social media apps) without breaks from socializing numbs the whole bonding experience.
Alternating socializing with solitude warms the heart.
Inspired by Cal Newport’s excellent book Digital Minimalism.
#56 Action, traction, distraction
ByLukasAt any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.
If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.
Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?
I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.
I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.
And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)
If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.
The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.
Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.
#22 Actions Overrule Thoughts
ByLukasOne of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonanceWhat’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:
If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.
In other words: actions overrule thoughts.
- If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
- If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
- If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
- If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.
We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.
Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.
The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.
Which begs the question:
- How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
- How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?
Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.
#104 This is not a poker game
ByLukasAll in on getting fluent in a foreign language?
That’s a 6-12 month game, at the minimum.All in on learning an instrument?
Count on a multi-year (or multi-decade) game.All-in on getting in shape?
That’s a life-long game.This is not a poker game. You’re not trying to impress anyone. There are no opponents to deter. Not everything hinges on one big moment where you can win or lose it all.
You’re not only all in the moment you decide you’re all-in. You’re all in for the entire journey. That means: making your efforts, resources, and motivation last.
All in means preparing for the long game.
Choosing small daily habits over grand gestures.
Choosing consistency over completion.
Accepting that whatever you go all in on will inevitably change your identity.
Now you’re all in on life, and who you aspire to be.
#371 The little that’s needed to be a writer
ByLukasYou’ve got a pen. You’ve got paper. A phone. And a computer.
Go write.
Because despite what your mind may try to tell you, the little that’s needed to be a writer is never truly out of reach.